Ghost Limb Syndrome

I think I am going a bit crazy. You know when people who have amputations can feel the missing limb sometimes? Okay, I don't have that but this reminds me of that a bit. As a Mom you have a special radar that hears the most faint cries of children. You can even come running when one of your children is crying in the other side of the church because you know that cry. I am always listening for Carter while he naps because it is really hard to hear him up in my room over the air conditioner. I did buy a baby monitor but it was pretty worthless. Anyway, I guess my ears have been in overdrive or something because even when it is all quiet through the house at night sometimes I think I hear crying. I am just so used to hearing it that I think I trained my ears to hear it. Like a missing limb, I hear it, but it is not there. Weird, but kinda funny.

I Adore This

My little sis has a private blog but I got permission to publish this entry she wrote because I loved it so much. This describes a 10 month old perfectly:



If i could live a day in the life of Max and hear his thoughts, here is what I think I'd hear:

Hey!

Feed me, I am really hungry!Oh man! I am stuffed! (as he spits up al over me)

I have a tummy ache. (insert fart noises here)Excuse me!

Why did you knock me over Clare?

Ouch mommy! Why are you letting them stick those sharp things in my legs?

I am reeeaaally tired mom, but I think I will just cry about it instead of going to sleep.

I don't have time for a diaper change mom! I have some serious exploring to to do!! Let me go!!Hey, whats going on up there? I wanna see! Pick me up, pick me up!

Mommy, Clare is hitting me in the head over and over with her sippy cup! Help me!

Give me some cheerios! I want some too. Me too me too!

I am tired of being in this car seat! My diaper is riding up my bum!

Mom, there are weird things going on in my diaper and I want you to fix it...NOW!

I wonder what this tastes like?

Hey mom! Look at me! I can cruise the furniture! I think I'll try this walking thing BEFORE my birthday.

(at about 6 am) I can see you sleeping mom, but go get me a bottle!

Mommy, where are you? I can't see you! Mommy, where are you!!! Help. I can't see my Mommy! No wait, she was just in the bathroom. I am okay.

Clare, get off of me! I can't breath.Clare, don't kick me!Clare, don't push me.Clare, don't take my toy.

Clare, I'm going to tell Mommy! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!Oh Mommy! Thank you for holding me.

Mommy, that tickles!

Clare is funny... sometimes.

Hey, that was a neat reaction mom, i think Ill try that again!

Wow! Look at all the colors!

Mommy, what is that noise?

Hey mom, open your mouth so I can feel inside there.

I just wanna suck on your cheek a little mom, c'mon?

Peek-a-boo! hey, where did you go? Oh there you are! Hey, now where did you go? Oh hi! How did you do that?

Whoa, Mommy, no more kisses. Enough is enough.

Blow on my tummy again !

Is it time to eat yet?

They say life doesn't get any harder after 3 kids...

Warning: this may be one of my most long boring posts, but it is very significant to me and I know it won't be so much to others.

I can't believe that even though we have four kids now, life is actually easier! It is so true though. I think the hardest time was when I was pregnant with Tanner and then having Tanner and 2 small kids. When Tanner was born, I still couldn't really communicate with Dallin. He couldn't stand for me to dress him or change him and it was so much effort just to do the every day things. Bed time was a nightmare every night and going places was very difficult. Dallin refused to get in his car seat without a huge wrestling match and then I would still have to get the other 2 kids in. Getting the kids out of the car seats when we would get somewhere meant running away in all directions, and sometimes into the street. Going into a building meant that they would run out of my sight as soon as possible. I wouldn't even think about taking kids shopping with me. I tried to put them in the free child care at Fred Meyer one day just to get a little shopping done and that only lasted 5 minutes. I could go on and on about things that were harder then but I am more exited to talk about what life is like now. I just wanted to paint a picture of how it was then for contrast.

Since Heidi was here to help out, I haven't really ventured out with all four kids by myself yet, but now she is gone. So we really needed milk and a few staples from the grocery store yesterday and I was feeling brave. I told the kids that if they wanted to go with me they need to put their shoes on and then go get in their car seats and buckle up. I helped them find their shoes, which they put on themselves and then they went to the garage by themselves while I got the baby ready. By the time I came out the the garage, Dallin and Eden were all buckled in. I dropped the babies seat into its base and helped Tanner with the bottom part of his seat belt. I thought to myself, WOW THAT WAS SO EASY! We went to the near by grocery store and I parked in the front so we wouldn't have to cross the street. I told Dallin to unbuckle himself and then help Tanner and Eden unbuckle. I got out and went and grabbed a shopping cart. By the time I got back to the van and opened the door, Dallin, Eden and Tanner were all standing there ready for me. I put the Baby inside the shopping cart and Tanner in the seat belt spot. I gave Dallin and Eden each a place to hold on each side of the cart so they would walk with me as I pushed. It went great! We made it into the store with no problems at all, it was amazing!!!

This store also happens to have free child care for 2 and up and Tanner just happened to turn 2 so I became pretty exited. I told them it was like the nursery at church and all three kids happily went in to find some fun toys to play with. So the baby and I were off for about 20 minutes of uninterrupted shopping. I kept waiting to hear my name over the loud speaker and it never came...Wow. I picked the kids up afterward and they all came out without a complaint. We walked back to the car with the store clerk all holding hands. I swear when we got back in the car everyone was buckled and happy and ready to go in a minute flat. The clerk put my groceries in the back for me and off we went again. Okay, I know this long story is really boring but it is such a significant moment for me that I want to remember this day.

Another funny thing that happened was as I was bringing the shopping cart over the van a car was waiting to park in the empty spot next to me. I opened the van door and started taking all these kids out and by the time the fourth one came out, the lady rolled down her window and said "are ALL those kids yours?" I told her "Yes" and she said something about how I was a really busy lady. This made me laugh because I still couldn't believe I was going to the grocery store with all four of my kids. It makes me think of Lori telling me about how she would go with 6 kids and have 2 or 3 shopping carts full of food. I just feel a sense of freedom with this that makes me so exited.

A couple of shorter stories that make me happy:

I was nursing the baby and all three of the other kids went upstairs to play. I cringed because I had not locked my bedroom and it was very quiet up there which is never a good sign. I finished feeding Carter and walked up the stairs with all the possibilities going through my mind. This situation never ends well, like something with water, toothpaste all over the walls, deodorant crumpled all over the floor, some food stolen from the pantry all over, etc. I dreaded each step and told myself not to lose it when I see it, just keep my cool and deal with it, its just another mess to clean up. I peeked in my room and no one was there, phew. I went into the room with Eden's toys and could hear little whispers coming out of Eden's play house. It was like a scary movie when you see someone walking over to the curtains to find the murderer and you don't want to know what is back there. I peeked in and there were three smiling faces looking at me. They were just playing with dolls and blankets and playing so well together like little buddies. I was so happy and relieved. This has been a trend in the last few days.

Then this morning after I fed the baby I went to check on the kids again, this time in the downstairs toy room. The door was shut, this is never a good sign. There are a lot of toys out in that room but I keep all of the puzzles, games and small pieces and stuff all locked in the closet. So they had gotten a stool and unlocked the closet. Usually if they have unlimited access there is a lot of dumping of bins and scattering and mostly just chaos. I turned the corner and realized they had each gotten a floor puzzle out and were quietly sitting on the floor minding their own business as they worked. It was so awesome!!! I left the door open and joined in the fun as we explored other fun things, which we all cleaned up together later.

So my summary of life now is that it is WAY easier than having 2 or 3 kids was and I am so glad to be entering this new phase of life. It is a lot of work still but the super high stress situations are beginning to fade more and more and It I will never take that for granted that's for sure. I was a little nervous about adding to our bunch but now I know that everything will be great. Now it is more like I always imagined it would be as a mom. I am so blessed.

Welcome Maddie!

Congratulations Tammy and Will! We are so exited to be an Aunt and Uncle again. Carter and Maddie will be great friends!

Tanner, Tanu Nanu, Tan Man

Tanner is my most favorite little 2 year old in the world. Here are a few of my favorite things about Tanner right now.

The your silly game. Tell Tanner that he is silly and he will say " No, your silly" so then you say it back to him and it goes back and forth forever. Sometimes he plays the "No, your poopy" game was well, although it doesn't really apply back to me. There are many versions of this game.

Tanner has THE softest skin in the world. He has soft cheeks, arms, legs. I know that is a weird thing to notice but it is so soft it is crazy and definitely way softer than any of our other kids including Carter.

Tanner's eyes speak volumes. They have so much expression and you can easily tell when they are happy, sad, confused, mad and any other emotion.

He loves to cuddle. Especially after a nap or at bed time. Even during the day Tanner loves to sit on my lap or lie next to me. I think he is becoming a bit more of a Mama's boy and not just all about Daddy all the time now.

Speaking of that, Tanner prefaces almost all his sentences with Mommy. Even if he is talking to someone else. For example "Mommy, its a choo choo train!" He does use Daddy's name too, but not nearly as much.

Tanner is a really good talker, but not necessarily a clear talker. Sometimes I really have to interpret. Other times I just resort to pretending to understand him because I look at all the expression in his eyes and I know it is something important, I just don't know what.

Tanner is so cute that he should never be allowed to grow up! It just seems like he was born to be a cute toddler to me. I don't even want to cut his hair because I want him to stay looking more like a baby. I just love that little boy.

Fun Weekend

We had such a fun busy weekend. First of all we had a sleep over on the trampoline. It only lasted half the night though because it got a bit cold. Then the next night we went to the drive in movie again. The kids had a blast eating candy and hot dogs and playing in the dirt. Then on Saturday Dallin and Eden had a soccer game and we were off to a fun little amusement park called Funderland. It is so perfect for our family because it small and not crowded and the kids could ride all the rides. Tanner is definitely old enough now that he does not want to be left out so it was good that he could do them all with the bigger kids. We had so much fun with Heidi and Lucy here and then on Sunday it was time to say goodbye. Now we will back to our boring old lives. Our kids really love their sweet aunties and we loved having them here!
Trampoline camp out

The roller coaster was a huge hit. They rode it like 4 times.

Tanner loved these old cars that rode around a big track.

Dallin loved the train.
Eden loved the carousel.
Phew, just writing about all of the festivities makes me need a nap!

Fourth of July

I got our Fourth of July pics today! This was the first time that we got all decked out in patriotic attire.

Family Photos

We had a family photo shoot with the help of Heidi a couple of weeks ago. I have had a blast with photo editing in the mean time. I couldn't bare to narrow it down so I just put all of the ones I like and even some doubles. I just love all of them so much.

Blogger Snatch

Here are a few pics of our kids that have popped up on other blogs. I thought I would just steal these cute ones.
Shaving cream mishap at John and Sarah's
Eden is a true Dickinson. You can't get more Dickinson that this. Heidi and Eden have a really cute relationship.
Heidi's photography.

Green Garbage Can

Dallin got an awesome Tonka truck for his birthday back on June 3rd from his Grandma Dickinson. It came with one of those pamphlets with other products by the company. Dallin carried it around for days and was totally obsessed with this garbage truck. He couldn't stop talking about the "green garbage can truck" for weeks. Finally I told him that if he could stay in his own bed all night for 7 days, he could have it. He took me up on it that very night and every night for 7 days. He was so cute every morning when he would run into my room and tell me excitedly that he did it and only had X amount of days left. He was so motivated I didn't even have to make a sticker chart or anything.

Then the day finally came and we were off to Toys R Us. I was secretly crossing my fingers that they would have the right truck and hoped that at least we could find something similar. We piled all of our kids into 2 shopping carts and headed to the car section. What happened next unfolded just like a story as we turned the corner and there right at the end of the isle THERE IT WAS!!! And I am pretty sure that Angels sang too. It was exactly what he wanted color and all. They had an orange one too, but it had to be this green one. I wondered if he would have that day after Christmas type blues once we got it home, but no, he played with it for days picking up little pieces of garbage or little toys and dumping them into the truck via the garbage can. What a huge hit. It was a little spendy for not being a birthday or Christmas, but he really earned it and has taken pride in it more than any toy he has ever had (he pretty much destroys them all eventually). Good job Dallin! Now he is working for some kind of pirate ship, but this time it hast to be 10 days. Maybe he will really be in the habit of staying in bed after that.

Mr. Happy. Lucy saw this shirt at Target and HAD to get it for our happy little guy.
Buddies
Bonding with Daddy.
Hard at work!
He even wore his hat in the bath along with his sippy cup of milk.
Peter's apprenticeship sent him this cute onesey for Carter.

We have been having so much fun with Aunt Heidi here and now Aunt Lucy has joined us for the last week. Some of our summer fun includes the Drive in movie, Games with John and Sarah, Swim Lessons, Soccer, Johns Pizza (like Chuck E Cheese), Baby Blessing, Babysitting the Bankhead twins, cooking with the kids, double date with Heidi, and fast food play land to name a few. The kids have LOVED having Heidi and Lucy to put it mildly. Family is such a blessing. I continue to run all the errands that I usually am not able to do by myself like spend half the day at the DMV getting my Cali drivers license finally. Yesterday I even made the trek to the mall (I have only been once in the last year) and Peter and I met for a date at the Olive Garden. It was so lovely.

I am sad because Heidi will leave on Sunday and somehow we still have to get through another month of summer break. We will be going to Oregon for a week and a half though so that should make it go by with more fun.