On Reading

Watching my children learn to read has been quite an experience.  I only remember tiny bits of learning how to read myself.  It really is a long, hard process.  The kids spend a large chunk of their day at school on reading and their homework is to read for 20 minutes each day at home as well.  The biggest surprise to me, although I shouldn't have been was how different Dallin and Eden have been in their journey to literacy.

Dallin has worked very hard and reads very well.  He has had an extra year, which has proven to be the best thing we ever could have done for him.  He reads at a high level for his grade instead of the opposite.  When we read at home however, I notice that he rushes his reading, skips words and guesses difficult words a lot.  It affects him so that he cannot read an age appropriate chapter book well enough to absorb all the content, but he doesn't seem to care too much. He just wants to get to the finish line.

Eden on the other hand is a very slow, perfectionist reader.  She sounds out each word to herself quietly before saying it out loud, even kindergarten sight words. If she can't figure it out, she will not move on until she gets help.  She re-reads each line once she gets it so she can process the content and understand the story.  She stops to study pictures, and often stops to daydream about the story as well.  When I sit to help her it is so painstaking that I can hardly stand it sometimes.  It can take her an hour to read what should be a 5 minute story. Not that it bothers her any though, she doesn't mind taking her time with any of her homework.  She is a good reader too, but she doesn't trust her fluency and just go for it. 

So I have two complete opposites to work with.  I have tried different techniques as I tutor them to help them overcome their weaknesses.  I felt like I was just waiting for it to click, but couldn't figure out how to help them make it click. It wasn't until last week that I finally made a break through. And even though they are totally opposite, it was with the same simple method.

When we sit to read, I usually let them read and correct them or help them as needed.  . That means helping Dallin to slow down and correct mistakes, and helping Eden to speed up and sound words out quickly.  Just sitting there and doing those things wasn't really helping other than giving them lots of experience and time.  I also read to them or we listen to audio books so they can use their imagination and just enjoy it too.

Then last week, Eden had fallen behind on some of her reading assignments so we needed to get caught up.  I suggested that we read in unison together so that I could pull her along. I know they read in groups like that at school.  As we read together I tried to be the quieter of the two of us and only take the lead on difficult words.  I used my finger to touch under each word as we read so that I could keep us at a good pace.  We read together and got through a story in no time at all.  What got me though was that she was reading it!  She did know the words and was keeping up really well.  I was just helping her get faster at it. Finally!!!

Then today I was reading with Dallin and I wondered if perhaps this method could help with him as well.  He was very resistant to it because he wants to just get through it and not slow down and get every word right.  He does not like to be corrected. I offered to take 5 minutes off of the timer if he would just try it with me and he immediately agreed.  Again, it worked amazingly well. He was slowing down and paying attention to each word.

Reading this way, they learned through the process and they could still enjoy the story we were reading.  That is big because I want them to actually like reading and this way they do not feel like it is all just work. I believe that this kind of practice is much more valuable for us and our time is better spent.  It seems like they gained more out of this in 5 minutes than they would in a week before.

What an eye opener for me. I love it when, as a parent, I have an aha moment and I realize that I can really help my kids and make a difference in their lives. 

If anyone has any other great reading tips for kids, I am all ears.

Eden's 7th Birthday

    Since Eden insists on growing up, we had a great time celebrating her birthday this year.  On the Sunday before we had a family party.  She ran around with lots of cousins and had a Hello Kitty ice cream cake. She really wanted a pinata so the kids enjoyed that too.  It was a big purple flower and there were several ribbons attached. Each kid pulled one until the right one was pulled and the candy came spilling out.

Her cousin Clare gave her a matching shirt. They are great friends.  When they are together they often disappear into a room and don't surface until it is time to go.

On her actual Birthday Eden had a knock on the door and her best guy delivered some flowers.




Then on Saturday, we had the highly anticipated friend party.  It was a tea party theme.  8 of her favorite friends and cousins came for the afternoon with their fanciest tea party dresses on.  We started off getting ready for the tea party by making fans. They glued paper doilies to construction paper, folded it like and accordian and added stickers.  Then each girl got to pick out a hat and we helped them hot glue LOTS of decorations on them.  This was the favorite activity by far.







After the decorating we played a game to practice being a fancy lady.  All they had to do was walk down the hall and back while balancing a book on their head.  It went over well and was so simple.  Once they passed off walking like a lady, they got their fancy accessories:  gloves, glasses, ear rings and necklaces.  Now they were ready for "tea" time. It was all so fancy!


I set the table with a white tablecloth and Eden's real china and hung tissue paper puff balls as decorations.  The menu consisted of scones, lemon bars, cucumbers, bananas, and apple juice to drink. Pinkies up!  Eden's favorite food was the cute little finger sandwiches on white bread with mayo a slice of turkey and cut into little triangles (and the crust cut off).
After eating, the girls decorated their own cupcake with pink and purple frosting.  They each had their own ziploc bag and we snipped the corner for them to pipe the frosting on.  There was an assortment of princess sprinkles to add. For the final touch we sprinkled edible glitter on that was so fine it looked like magic pixie dust.  One girl thought that it might actually make them fly.  They loved that added touch.  They were all so ladylike. 







Eden had enough of the proper and decided to stuff her cupcake in her face.  The girls just laughed an laughed.  She felt pretty special the whole time.





Lucy and Grandma helped out for the entire party.  I could not have done it by myself.  Especially with all the hot gluing.  While they ate, Grandma read Pinkalicious.  Learning proper mannors.It was so sweet how excited everyone was for her to open their gifts.  I could tell that these girls truly love her and wanted to give her something special. At the end, the girls got to keep their hats and accessories and a goody bag with a friendship bracelet kit and a surprise package that you bop with your hand and it explodes as it inflates a cute little heart balloon.
I think Eden will always remember this special party.  We certainly don't do this kind of thing for every birthday, but I hope that when we do, it will be a wonderful memory for them to think back on.  The kids still talk about Dallin's Star Wars party from 3 years ago, so I know it is worth doing.  I must admit I had a great time planning it and seeing it play out as well.   One of those fun mommy moments for sure.

Journal

I feel like I am not writing nearly enough about my sweet littles lately so here are a few things off the top of my head.  There would be so much more if I would just write it down when it happens.  I need to write it down! I imagine being a little old lady pouring over my blog books all the time and snaring anyone I can into looking at them with me.  I better get all the material that I can. 

• Dallin, you got a first place ribbon at the last chess tournament.  Finally!  you takes the game very seriously and are so competetive. You put your whole self in when you play and when if you lose it is a hard blow at your age.  I believe it is good for you though.  You have improved so much this year and you are getting pretty good. You can beat me, but that's not saying much.

You were playing a little Toy Story game on my Ipod and you wanted to save your levels or something so Daddy was helping you set up a password.  This was your first encounter with needing one.  As I listened to you talking I was amazed that instead of trying to figure out what it even was you quickly came up with a really good one that was stinkin adorable to me. (Shhh... don't tell anyone, but it is 1909vbds.)  That is a very rare penny that you lust after for your collection.  I love it mister smarty pants!

You and Eden have been taking a Mad Science class after school each week.  I know you really like it, but I don't get too many details out of you about it.  You really believe that you are a scientist and I won't try to convince you otherwise.

You are such an outside kid.  Sometimes I think we are doing you wrong by living in the city instead of on a country hillside with lots of acres to discover.  I am sure I would barely ever see you if that were the case.  For now our little .18 acres and extra long cul-de-sac will just have to do.

You are very proud of our family and you tell strangers all the time that there are six kids in your family.  I am glad you like having a big family.

• Eden: You got a second place ribbon at the chess tournament.  Chess is not your most favorite activity, but you do well and try hard.  On the other hand, you LOVE going to dance class each week.  At the end of last semester I gave you the option of continuing and you were delighted to keep it up. Your cousin Lindsay is now in the same class so that makes it even more fun to carpool.  You love to wear your leotard and tutu and sometimes even a tiara.  What a little princess. 

Your favorite holiday other than Christmas is Vanentine's day so we made pink heart pancakes and put your hair into heart ponies via a pinterest tutorial.  I like how you think it is Valentime's day with an m. Too cute. 

After school you often get to talking and go about a mile a minute.  It is cute because you pace around while you talk and tell me the smallest little details about things that you found interesting about your day.  I wish I could secretly record it because it makes my heart get a little bigger when you do it.  You have a great little sense of humor.

• Tanner: You are Soooo not a morning person.  You struggle to get off to school every day, but once you are off you do fine.  You still draw all the time.  Mostly super heros of course. You are a very good boy who wants to do the right thing most of the time. You really like potty humor and finds anything about poo poo funny.   Lately, when you get really upset with one of your siblings you burst out"You are following Satan!"

You got a second place ribbon at the tournament too!  You show the least interest in chess so far, but you are starting to like it more and more.    Chess club has ended for this year now.

You love Luke so much.  I have to moderate the interactions a little, otherwise Luke gets overwhelmed at times.  You think Luke is sooooo cute and it is fun to see. 

You have the best giggle, it is contagious. You also have the most high pitched scream that kinda makes my bones crumble into powder.

• Carter: We have officially begun potty training and you doing well. You are having accidents, and get dissapointed everytime you get your Buzz Lightyear's wet.  Your ability and willingness are very good though, so we will get there soon.

You don't take naps very often so sometimes you get pretty tired in the afternoon.  The other day the house was pretty quiet when the babies were down and the big kids were still at school.  You cuddled up to me for about an hour and just sat with me.  I loved that time since you are usually very busy. You are starting to grow up a little bit as far a reasoning goes which is a welcomed thing for me. 

We have quite a pecking order in our house where the older sibling picks on the sibling just younger and so you fall right in with that.  all the kids are victims and bullies at the same time.  You are probably the most victimized by Tanner and the biggest bully to Lily.  But they are also your best friends though so hopefully it balances out. 

• Lily: Your cuteness steals my heart.  You talk a lot which I contribute to having Carter for a big brother.  You play/fight a lot and you absorb a lot of language skills from the interactions. 

Lately my favorite things you say is "Oh, my Pellow Pet!"  We all say pellow instead of pillow now.  You also answers questions with a yes or no very well now.  Probably better than any of my toddlers at this age.  It is very helpful for communication frustrations.  When you say "yes", I detect a hint of a lisp, probably got that from me. Sorry.  Everything you say is so cute I can't stand it.  Again, I just need to video you talking because it is so great. 

You are full of naughties being 2 and all.  You love to draw all over yourself, put stickers all over the house, take all your clothes off, make huge food messes, make huge messes with anything else and climb on tables. You and Carter can really cause serious damage if I turn my back for very long. 

• Luke: You are at the best age ever!  You are so happy and fun and cute!  We call you Lukey pookey, which is especially cute coming from Lily. You are pretty content unless you are tired, but you will mostly only go to sleep in your own bed.  You are not one to fall asleep in my arms even if I really try.  I guess thats what I get for training my babies that way.  I do love to hold you and cuddle you and feed you though.  You light up when we look at each other and just smiling at you and talking to you can give you the giggles.  You are so ticklish too.  I just want to freeze time so badly.  You are perfect.  You have this little knit owl hat that I pretty much want you to live in because it is so so so cute on you.  I see your dad when I look at you more than with the other kids.

I have for the first time experienced getting spit up on right in my mouth.  I should have known better than to go in for a kiss while holding you above me on the bed.  Eden was a first hand witness and could not stop laughing.  It was pretty funny and tasted sweet and sour at the same time....ewe! I did get my mouth closed for most of it, but still I guess I had it coming after all these years.  I am pretty sure it happened to Peter right off the bat with Dallin. 

Yesterday I was nursing you in bed and fell asleep.  I woke up because I was having this strange dream that someone was playing with my bottom lip, flipping it and making that funny sound with it.  I came around and realized it was you really doing that to me. I want to keep you forever.
The kids sure love you.  You have always been very loved and accepted by all of your siblings from the moment they knew about you.  They all seem to know how special a baby is.  There has been no jealousy or bitterness from anyone. 

On Parenting

Lately I have been really trying to let my kids reap the natural consequences of their actions.  It is HARD!  Sometimes it just happens and the lesson is learned and other times, I have to come up with the consequence.  It can be rough to watch your precious little sweetheart cry at a result of their choices, but I know it is easier to learn these lessons now than when they are older.  Anyway, what I really wanted to share was our trick for not shouting out threats that you both know you won't follow through with.  When one of the kids is doing something they shouldn't, sometimes it makes me angry and I can't think as clearly, or I just don't have time to think of what the appropriate natural consequence should be.  So instead of barking out something to get them to choose the right, I calmly warn them that if they do that again, they are going to have a consequence.  That's it.  I don't say what it will be because I don't know yet.  I need time to process and make it a good lesson for them. 

When I first started doing this, they would give me a puzzled look and ask what I meant.  Now they know that it will not be good and that it is all on the choice that they make. That is enough of a warning.  I love not really being the bad guy, but putting it back on them. They usually make the right choice, thank goodness.  If they make the wrong choice, I let them know that they will have a consequence.  If I still haven't come up with one, I tell them I will talk to dad about it and get back to them.  

This is really only for the older 3 kids, not the little ones that need immediate consequences. Also, if there is a need for an immediate consequence like for hurting someone or tantruming, they go straight to their room for a time out still.   No one like to be in isolation, but it does give them time to calm down so it has its purpose.  I definitely mess up as a parent every single day, but this little trick has helped me out a lot lately. 

Killer Turtles and Mushrooms

The other night Peter crashed pretty early.  I could tell he was way tired.  When I came to bed at 10:30, I reached over to touch him.  I just wanted to hold his hand or arm before I fell asleep.  For some reason it totally startled him and he quickly jumped up and started making these weird jargon sounds.  He does that in his sleep a lot.  Its kind of like a ticking sound...creepy dude! Then he said a swear word and seemed really freaked out.  I must say Peter does not swear that I know of, except in his sleep sometimes.  I think it is funny that it comes out then when his subconcious has control. Still sitting up and alarmed, I said his name to hopefully snap him out of it.  He replied, "They are trying to kill me!"  You guessed it, he was referring to turtles and mushrooms.  He went on about it until he finally woke up and realized what he was saying and went back to sleep. 

Mean old turtles, they can be ruthless!

Journal

• I know I need to get caught up with details about our happenings and pictures, but this is just another journal post of my random thoughts again.  After 6 months, I am now blogging in the comfort of my own home again!  Yay, and boo.  Mostly yay!  I think it was mostly the frustration of never feeling like I could find the time to blog as much anymore.  I didn't have the energy left to leave home to do it at night most of the time.  I realized how much I just want to be home.  I grew in a lot of ways the last few months and came to terms with how much technology can take over your life.  I don't plan to use the internet other than for banking, blogging and email during our afternoon quiet time and after kids are in bed.  I never want to hear Eden say, "Mom, why you are always on the computer?" again.  That stung like salt in a wound. I don't plan to use it much at all during the day.  Just like so many things in life, moderation and self discipline are not easy.  But I have missed this little creative outlet of a blog so much and I can do it.  It will have to come in little pieces, but I am glad to have the convenience back.  What a great thing it was though.  I think I see "real" life in full color now so I want to keep it all in check.

• Moving on, I think I am having a hair crisis.  I have never really found my own personal style.  I don't have a way that I wear it that really feels like me.  Is that normal?  Sometimes it is curly, sometimes straight, sometimes straightened then curled.  Mostly I just pull it back out of the way.  It seems like some people really have a style that is almost part of their personality.  It is cute and stylish and they seem to enjoy it.  I don't take time to do anything with mine most of the time and so up it goes.  I think the weight of it contributes to my headaches, but I think short hair would be even more work if there were less to pull back.  I have no idea what length would look best with my face shape.  I have studied the face shapes and never really figured out what mine is, other than narrow.  I like my hair long, but I don't really think it looks very good on me, not that I give it much of a chance to be down.  I don't really feel a strong need for a change, I just wish I could find what looks and works best for me, but I don't know how to find it. I have a hard time trusting anyone cutting my hair so I do it myself, but maybe it is time to find someone I can trust to give me not just a haircut, but style advice. 

• Dallin lowered his voice on purpose today and said "Is my voice deeper?  I think my voice is starting to change."  ah!!!!!!!    Luke is amazing.  Either I forget how it feels, or the more kids I have the more I enjoy it each time. I don't know which it is.  Lily is so funny, or "punny" as she says it.

• I have been wanting to start really dating again.  Not just watch a movie and fall asleep, but intentional planned out dates.  Whenever Peter and I really hang out and spend some quality time together, I remember how fun our friendship is. He is my true love and I want to keep it that way forever. It is like we really see each other for the first time in weeks when we really try to date. We decided to make more of an effort to keep Friday nights reserved for date night.  I also made a list of fun date ideas in two columns: one for home dates and one for going out dates.  They are all so fun sounding that I can't wait to get started.  There are enough ideas to last at least a year so we'd better get started.

• I am struggling with my headaches.  They were much better, but now that I have stopped taking preventative medicine, they are back with a vengeance.  I didn't like the side effects of the medicine, but I do need to function.  I think it is time to go back to acupuncture.  It is spendy and hard to get away to do it, but I need to just go for it.  It was amazing last time.  I started taking a few supplements that are supposed to be very helpful, but it takes a while to really know if it will help.  I feel like such a pill popper every morning and night, but I would rather be taking vitamins than pharmacy drugs.  I know things could be a lot worse, but this is a difficult thing to deal with.   It happens about every other day, and if I don't take Exedrin at the first onset I will be nonfunctional in tremendous pain for hours.   Then the caffeine in the Exedrin keeps me up at night and I am tired the next day from the toll that it takes out of me.  One time this week I waited way too long just because I was busy being a mom and then it was too late.  A couple days later I decided to try to just use an ice pack and take a nap.  Oh, the stabbing pain was horrible combined with nausea and hypersensitivity to sound and light.  

• I can't wait to blog every single detail about our trip.  I don't want to forget a moment.  Well, maybe a few. 

• I am so glad to be getting back into exercising, but I am in the "this is hard and kinda stinks" phase still.  Looking forward to the "I have strength and endurance and it feels good to work hard" phase again.   I am not doing too well with the eating less part though so that doesn't help things.  I am so ready to get my body back, but it is a little harder every time and I can tell this time is going to be a lot more concious effort. 

• I am realizing how much I tune out noise lately.  Poor Luke has to get pretty upset to get my attention sometimes.  I don't even hear him because I am so used to the sounds of many people all the time.  When I notice it, only then do I realize that he was needing my attention and I am being slow to react.  It is scary how much I can tune out, but I don't mean to. 

• I have a lot of kids.  I have just been thinking that lately.  6 is so different than 5 or 4 or 3 or 2 or 1.  It's not for sissies.  I feel judged a lot.  I feel exposed a lot.  I am humbled A LOT.  But I think I judge others less.  My perspective has changed in so many ways.  I really understand that everyone's situation is different.  No matter what your family size is, NO ONE knows your circumstances or your struggles, or what you are going through other than God.  I know that only He knows mine.  Not even someone else with 6 kids because they are not my kids and they are not me.  Life really is like a box of chocolates Forrest!   I thought I had it all figured out before kids or even after 3 kids, but now everything is different.  Control is not something that I feel most of the time.   I am out of that.  I have to accept it and just get little bits of it here and there.  But as crazy as it is, it is worth giving that up.