"in sequence"

My Sweet Aunt sent this to me and I love it. I have been thinking about my little ones lately and how fast this is going by. This has been my random thought: I am almost 30 now, that means with the kids we have now, I will be done raising kids when I am 50 (add more years here if we have more kids). Peter and I definitely plan to live to be 100 so that means I will still have half of my life to live after the kids are all grown up. How sad! It makes me want to make sure I live every moment to the fullest while I have this short time to be priviledged to have these children in my home. Anyway, this article just made me think about this more.

Mormon women can do it all -- 'in sequence'
By Tiffany Gee Lewis
Tuesday, Apr. 28, 2009, Meridian MagazineRead all of Tiffany's past columns here

I sat in the car recently with my husband and a colleague of his. Both are getting doctoral degrees in journalism. The two were talking about their latest publications in scholarly journals. In an attempt to include me in the conversation, my husband's friend turned around and asked, "So, what do you think of all this?""What do I think?" I stuttered. The question caught me off guard. "I find it fascinating. I was -- am -- a journalist." It wasn't coming out the way I wanted. "I'm just happy to support my husband," I finished lamely.It was the end of a long day with four little boys. My face was white as a sheet, the car littered with peanuts and mashed raisins. I was running on maybe three hours of sleep. What did I think of all this? That I would have loved to attend a day of lectures and hobnob instead of battle a 3-year-old over potty training and slap a million peanut butter sandwiches together.

I had to remind myself in that moment that I was where I wanted to be because I chose this.It's a luxury my grandmother and previous generations of women did not have. In most developing countries, women still do not have that choice. But I chose to marry young, finish my degree and jump with both feet into motherhood.It doesn't make it easy, but it does make it easier, on those long days and during those long nights, when I watch friends and my own husband lap me in their educational pursuits; when I return thick Steinbeck novels to the library unread -- not for lack of desire, but simply because I never found the time to crack open the beloved pages.I chose this, right?

I put aside tempting internships and graduate school and attractive freelance opportunities because I wanted to raise my kids the way my mom raised us. It was a choice -- a luxury, really. Then why, at times, do I feel so uncomfortable, and squirm a little, in this mothering outfit I picked?Is it my own pride, which looks at the social trend to: Get educated! Get rich! Then have kids; be as smart and strong and feisty as your husband. Or better yet, do it all: go to school, work, run a home business and raise a brood of children at the same time.

I recently read a book called "Silences" by Tillie Olsen. Olsen delves into reasons why writers stay silent during certain periods of their lives. In particular, she focuses on women who are "silenced" by child rearing, highlighting the fact that before the 20th century, nearly all women authors either never married or were wealthy enough to afford child care. Olsen writes from experience, as she was "silenced" for years as she raised her four children.It was an uncomfortable read for me. I thought of my notebooks filled with first chapters of novels, half-written poems, and of the nights I squirrel away with my computer trying to eke out a few sentences of intelligible thought.

Every spare moment (as spare as moments can be with four children) becomes a weighty decision: Do I fold laundry or write? Play Legos with my son or write? Read my scriptures or write? (Or, as I am doing now, type with one hand while a baby sleeps on my chest.)And the truth is, either way I feel guilty, as guilt is just par for the course in motherhood. I don't want my children to remember that their mother was always tucked behind a computer screen, but neither do I want them, as children are wont, to think that the purpose of my life is to orbit around the center of their universe. There is no pat answer to this.

The only consolation I heard recently was a quote attributed to Brigham Young in which he said: "Mormon women can do it all, but they need to do it in sequence."For every woman, that sequence may be different. I have to tell myself that there will be years for reading books and writing novels and getting that advanced degree -- years when I will wait for little voices calling my name, and they will not be there. There will be a time when I will go to tuck small children in bed, and find that they have grown into able men. One day, every single Lego will make it into the box and stay there.

For now I have to remember that I am not silenced, that I am simply in a stage of life that requires more hands on the ground than with a pen and paper. These are years for storing away memories of tiny hands, dimpled cheeks and the freshness of childhood. I can do it all, I tell myself. But, right now, I am doing this.

Weekend Fun

Okay, I am catching up on the last 3 weekends.


We had a fun Easter of course with the kids. They were so excited about the egg hunts and easter bunny. We went to our ward activity the day before and hunted eggs, then on Sunday we painted eggs and did our own hunt.

Easter morning waiting to see what they got.


We have been going on a lot of bike rides. By we, I guess I mean Peter and the kids mostly. We did do one with all of us though. Dallin and Eden have gotten very good at keeping up which makes it really fun. Tanner and Carter ride in the trailer. Tanner was so relaxed that he fell right to sleep.


Carter in his trailer






This weekend we went to Six Flags. This is our second trip recently. We also went with Sherry when she was here. This time we rode rides, but really focused on all the animals they have there. It was so fun to take lots of animal pictures. The kids were so good all day and we brought our friend/past therapist Amber along for the fun. The kids loved all the animals and we got to see the dolphin show, which is always a hit. Carter loves to clap, so he got really excited every time the crowd clapped and he would join them. We purchases season passes so we will be going a lot this summer. It is no Disneyland, but it there is a lot to do there and it is a great combination of entertainment and discovery.










Dallin really likes the bigger rides, but is still young enough to enjoy the little rides with the other kids. He can't wait to be tall enough for the big roller coasters that they have. Sorry, I think it is going to be a while little one. He is tall enough to get some good action though.





We got to feed the bird necter so they landed all over us, the kids got a big kick out of that.











The butterfly sanctuary is so cool. This poor little guy landed on Tanners head and instead of waving it off, I snapped a picture just in time for Tanner to grab it. I hope that little butterfly wasn't too hurt.






One of the kids most favorite things is the white water rafting ride, but it is a really wet ride. If you are unfortunate enough to go under the waterfall, you can be totally drenched. It was only in the 70s so I made the kids wear these garbage bag ponchos. It worked like a charm, except for Eden who went under the waterfall with Amber so we had to change her outfit.

By the end of the day we were all completely exausted. What a fun time though. It was such a huge help to have Amber with us. Extra hands really helped. We did lose Tanner twice still though, that guy is really slippery. It was only for a minute each time, but still very heart stopping. Tanner was so funny all day. He loved to dance to the music that they played over the speakers and it was very entertaining.

Star Wars

My kids have totally gone Star Wars crazy. Dallin took a special interest after one of the boys that he thinks is cool in his class gave him a Star Wars valentine. He knew what it was from his cousin Derek, also a really cool guy in Dallin's book. After that we bought episode 4,5,6, and 1 at Goodwill on VHS just so he could see it. Peter also put the soundtracks on his IPOD and played it in the car a lot. Tanner and even Eden have really become interested too. Tanner is the funniest. He sings the theme song and the "Darth Vader" song all the time. He has such a cute high pitched little voice, it is great. I think those songs were in his head for a month straight. We have had a couple of Star Wars related outbursts during sacrament meeting as well. We had to explain to Dallin that you shouldn't be talking about it during church. You can quiz any of my kids and they will tell you who is good and who is bad Now Dallin can't wait to have a Star Wars birthday party in a few weeks. I guess I am just joining the ranks of all you other mothers out there with little boys. I can now say that I know much more about Star Wars than I ever imagined I ever would. I love having boys!

Ouch!

Dallin came running in to me screaming a couple of days ago and was yelling about how it stung him! His leg looked a little red but I couldn't figure out what happened. I asked him if it was a bee and he thought so, but it didn't look like a bee sting. Then before my eyes a bump started swelling up right in the middle of the red area. Yep, it was definitely a bee sting. I doubted at first especially because he didn't seem like he that much pain as, but he was, poor little guy. It has been so long since I have dealt with a sting that I had to think for a minute about what to do. I remembered my mom putting baking soda and water on mine when I was a kid, but I wasn't sure. I found some Calamine lotion in the medicine drawer and decided to try that. Wow, talk about instant relief. It totally soothed it and he was fine within 10 minutes.

Shortly after that, he showed me a dying bee on the sidewalk that had fallen out of his pant leg as he ran inside. So that is our first bee sting story in our little family. I looked up bee sting treatment online and the baking soda thing was right, but it also mentioned the calamine lotion. It also said to wash the sting with soap and water and wipe it with alcohol first so I will remember that for next time.

Its Official

Dallin and Eden have decided that they are going to get married because they are grown ups. I started to explain that you can't marry your sister, but decided to let them keep their sweet innocence for a little longer.

IEP and Good in the Same Sentence

Yesterday we had Dallin's annual IEP meeting to discuss his special educational needs with the school district. Once again there were about 10 people there on the team, which is never ceases to amaze me. This was the first time that everyone was on the same page about what those needs are. He is doing amazingly well in Kindergarten and will continue on to first grade! His resource lady said that he has more than made up for the regression in the first 2 months of school in the autism class. Moving to regular ed. was perfect for him, not easy, but it gave him so much room to grow. His ability to progress blows everyone away. He has a wonderful teacher and a great in class aid that have really been the key to his success there.



So they have hand picked who his teacher will be next year so that is very comforting. Also his aid may get to stay with him, unless she moves out of state which is a possibility. If that happens he will be assigned someone else. That is a little scary because you never know what you are going to get.



My biggest concern at the meeting was his 10 week summer break and regression. The school district offered to give him an additional 3 hours of in home ABA 4 days a week to work on academics for all 10 weeks! Holy cow, that was more than I had hoped for. I was blown away. The idea is that it is the same amount of time he has school now so he will be able to keep the same schedule that he has. I plan to send a letter to the other parents in his class and invite them to bring their kids over any time so that Dallin can have some peers around during the summer. Right now he has his best friend from church over for program once a week and it has been amazing for him. I am hoping to have a couple more kids once a week as well to join him.



He will also still have his afternoon ABA therapy where they continue to work on his life skills. That may begin to fade from 3 hours to 2 hours a day soon.



I am just so happy with how things turned out. I know the district has been making major cut backs so I was prepared for the worst. Until now, I have always hated these meetings and practically hyperventilate each time as I prepare to go in for a fight. I didn't even have to say very much this time. What a relief and a blessing! Just another confirmation that moving here was the right thing for us. My faith is constantly stengthened by these experiences. On a side note, it looks like the buyer for the house we are in is an invester, so we are thinking we won't have to move! Not for sure on that though.



After the meeting I went to visit Dallin with his class. The kids were lined up outside the class ready to go in and the teacher asked them if they had a nice Easter. Dallin said he did. Then he said "It means Jesus came alive again". Then he said to the kid next to him "Jesus is VERY special". Wow, I wasn't too sure that my kids got much past all the candy and egg hunts. That warms my heart.

Surfing in Elk Grove???

Peter's sister Sherry came to visit so we went surfing! It is a really fun indoor place. Of course the little kids and I were just spectators, but Peter, Sherry and Dallin had a great time. This was Peter's second time to try it so he had a little advantage. This video is pretty fun if you like to watch people wipe out a lot.

Dallin was trying to steer with his thumb.


Then with his shoulder

Dallin watched the first half hour and then joined in the second half. That gave him time to watch and be prepped. I explained that it was really cool, but when you fall you will get a lot of water in your face and maybe up your nose and it might hurt a little bit, but that Daddy would catch him at the top and he would be safe. He was totally okay with that and still eager to do it. He did so well. He did get "flushed" a couple of times, but I don't have it on video. In the video at the end I asked him if he is a good surfer. When Dallin watched that he said "I am good at everything!" That is great to hear such self confidence, one of my goals as a parent.

Cousins and more Cousins

So this is a little recap of our super fun week with family. My mom and my three sisters came to visit for their spring break at the beginning of this month. It was so much fun and all 14 kids had a great time together. My kids LOVED having cousins everywhere. The house was noisy but was actually very organized and my kids were so busy playing that they didn't even need me too much. These first pictures are from a childrens museum in Stockton.


Shelby and Eden

Eden and Nic



Nic

Dallin and Tommy



Eden, Dallin, Shelby and my sister Laurel in the background.




Clare



Tanner




Dallin


This was lunch one day. I never thought I would see this table full. It is where the kids eat in our kitchen. There were so many kids that there were always a few left out at the table. Meal times were a lot of work for sure. My sister's little daughter is deathly allergic to milk protien and too young to descriminate for herself so we managed to feed all the kids milk free for the week. Yay for not needing to use the epinephrin pen.


One day we made the beautiful drive to daffodil hill. The daffodils were not as abundant as we hoped at the moment, but it was still worth it. Here we are having a quick little lunch before exploring. They did have a few animals that the kids loved looking at. The rooster was the favorite.



Carter


Eden and Shelby. They got along great. Eden loved playing with a girl for a change! Again my kids had a blast and we sure wish we could be near our family more.

This picture totally cracks me up. Tanners hair can be so crazy, but I love it and can't bring myself to cut it off.





Here is our crew! Amazing that we all fit in our 4 bedroom house. I can't wait to do it again!!! Just to break it down Laurel has 3, Elizabeth has 5 kids, I have 4 and one coming, and Cami has 2. The oldest child is 10 and youngest is 6 months. Ages 10, 8, 6, 6, 5, 4, 4, 2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 10 mo., 6 mo. There were only 2 grandkids missing (my brother's kids couldn't make it). Grandma and Grandpa are very blessed with posterity. Words can't describe how much I enjoyed my mom and sisters. We laughed the whole week and had a great time just being together.

20 Years Ago

It has been 20 wonderful years today since our family was sealed in the Seattle Temple. I remember a lot of that day still. I remember making the "long" drive and waiting in the temple nursury while my parents were endowed. Then I remember holding hands around the altar and being overwhelmed by the spirit, even at that young age. We all cried and hugged and knew that now our family was bound eternally. That was one of the most significant days of my life.

Many years later after my younger sister recieved her endowments, I remember a similar feeling as my parents and all my sisters gathered in the celestial room together for the first time and once again being overwhelmed by the spirit. These times really put life into perspective and I realize what is the most important. I continue to hope and pray that all of our seats will be filled some day and that our eternal family can once again gather in the Lord's holy temple like 20 years ago.

I am so grateful to have a father that wanted to put the Lord first and raise our family in rightoussness. I am also grateful for a mother who kept our family strong so that this could be possible. My parents and siblings are my best friends and I feel very blessed that I could be part of such a wonderful family.

So Behind!

I know , I haven't put any pictures up in so long and am so behind on posting, but I have been busy editing Peter's cousins wedding photos from a couple of weeks ago (see some here). Between that, having fun with our visitors and feeling about 50%, I don't think I have ever been this behind on blogging. I really do have some great stuff to post about. That is my next project.

On top of it all, we found out that we may need to move! We were hoping to stay in the house we are in for another year, but the owner is selling so it will depend on if the buyer is an investor or will be living here...not great news for us. It is not hard to find something to rent though, we just need to make sure that we keep Dallin at his school and stay in our ward.

But in general we are doing great. Dallin's school and therapy are going well, Peter's job is still going well, pregnancy is going well and we are so excited, and Carter is walking all over the place. No more crawling for him. The weather is beautiful here and we have been taking advantage of the awesome parks. Peter has also been taking kids for bike rides a lot too. Peter took Dallin's training wheels off and Dallin didn't miss a beat over it.