Sweets

Oh why oh why do I self medicate with chocolate?  I went to the doc this week and although I didn't have a lot of weight gain, my belly grew a lot more than normal. Like measuring 4 weeks past what I am!  I am secretly daydreaming that somehow we will find that I really am that much farther along (Um no).  I love my doctor and how nicely he said, "I know at this stage of pregnancy sweets are a strong craving, but..."  I laughed out loud because he nailed me.  Seriously I am like a drug addict.  Every afternoon I start to think about getting a sugar rush.  I don't usually keep sweets in the house for this reason and yet I find a way get some.  For example, "Oh you guys did great at swim lessons today, lets go get a treat!"  Seriously, what am I teaching them???  I guess it's time for a sugar detox.

Journaling

After all the Holiday fun, we still had a fun week. It really warmed up on Wednesday so we went to the library and the park for their "Water Wednesday" and free lunch. We stayed for a long time and the kids totally wore me out.  That night we had pizza at Peter's parent's and Eden and I went to the mall for some H&M love. She got several fun items for her summer wardrobe and it was so nice to escape the heat. Yesterday, we had a playdate a the Park and then my sister came over with her 2 little ones.  The kids played hard all afternoon and into the evening.  The boys rough housed outside on the trampoline for a long time. The girls played dress up and built forts with couch cushions inside. They sure do love to play with cousins. Lily has lots of word but I thought it was cute when she gave something to my sister and upon taking it back said, "Mine, Dada!" She really thinks her name is Dada since the kids call her that.
7 Kids on one swing, its a party!

Journaling

Ah, its nice to be caught up in blog land.  But before I talk about the fourth, I want to do a journal post....about me! 

Pregnancy is going really well overall.  A few weeks ago I started having a lot of pain in my hip so bad that it radiated down my leg.  I was walking like an old lady for a while.  I was feeling doomed to have another painful second half of pregnancy.  Peter did his best to help by pulling on my leg or pushing on it or whatever felt best, but it would only help for a few minutes.   Resting did not give any relief.  Then as I was laying down one day I was moving my leg around trying to find a less painful position and I felt a tiny little pop.  A little while later I realized my pain was GONE!  It hasn't come back since.  I am kind of glad this happened because I am so happy to be out of pain that the normal uncomfortable pregnancy stuff doesn't seem at all bad now and I am not feeling doomed any more. It changed my perspective. Yay!

My most common question to be asked is "How are you feeling?"  For A while there I would just give a half smile and say "okay."  but now I can honestly smile say, "Pretty good!" My bone separation hasn't been too bad either.  Being really careful how I move is the key. But, I am into the 3rd trimester now so I am crossing my fingers that it will keep going well. My other common question is "When are you due?" When I say, "Not until September."  I get a sympathetic look and they say, "Oh, you have a ways to go."  Yeah, I know trust me.  I don't want to think about it.

I finally feel the little guy moving a lot now and even Peter can feel him.  I love to cuddle up from behind and press my belly into his back and wait for him to notice his son kicking him.  Ha ha. 

I haven't started any preparations for the arrival because it still seems so far away.  But lately I am starting to get those little twinges of excitement that leave me feeling all giddy and ready to hold my little guy...and have a waist...and my little 6 pack of kiddos...and take a break from pregoness (made that word up).   I feel like I am on the last mile of an 8 year marathon.  It feels so good.  I am right where I want to be with my life and now I can just take a breath for a minute.  I have had this goal in my mind for years(like since I was engaged) of having a family with 6 kids close in age.  That was a lot of work! It has been equally surprising in how it is more wonderful than I could have imagined and how much harder than I could have ever known.  Now I feel more calm about taking things one thing at a time and reaping the rewards of this awesome family that we have made together.  I like fulfilling my dream and not having a plan from here.

Here is a short list of my normal pregnancy stuff going on of which I am noting but not complaining about with my new perspective.  Seriously I am so happy with just these things I can handle: 
Crazy bad heart burn.
Choking up over anything daily.  Usually many times a day.
Nausea off and on (never had that after first trimester before)
Low energy. I probably seem like a lame mom sometimes with what my kids get away with, but I am doing the best I can.
Feeling like a hermit sometimes and just want to stay home for several days at a time and not be social.
Lots of self esteem killing weight gain.  I think I am plus more than 25 lbs already, yikes. Remember I am only 5'2. Outweighing your hubby is not a good feeling.
Bone separation in my pelvis that is not too bad so far as long as I am super careful with myself.
Getting a nerve pinch in my back when I sleep that comes back with every pregnancy. But:
Loving my bed so much I can't even put in words.  It goes up and down in every direction like a hospital bed and has a memory foam mattress.  I have used many interesting combinations with the head and foot raised to relieve my uncomfortable body.  I call it my happy place. It literally is. 

The kids have been great so far this summer.  They pick on each other more since they are together all the time but we are working on it.  But mostly we are just having so much fun being a family.  I love it.  We are staying extra busy, which I like because it takes my mind off my total lack of desire/energy/no bending ability to keep the house in shape.  If I don't think about it, maybe its not there right? Right.  I am choosing to keep things going at a necessity level and not letting the summer go by without the fun and adventures that kids should have.  My heart gushes over each one of them as I watch them grow and learn and experience life.  The amazement never goes away. Perhaps pregnancy hormones make me feel those emotions even deeper.

We had a fabulous lesson in Relief Society on Sunday about self criticism.  I think the best part for me was as lists were made on the board and comments made, I realized that I am so normal!  Despite everyone's different circumstances, we are all hard on ourselves about the same stuff! It was like what everyone was saying was what I was thinking. The lesson was very healing and heartening for me.  I left feeling inspired to not be so hard on myself and use suggested techniques to put off Satan's lies. Life is about learning and growth and that is not a bad thing as he would have us think and torture ourselves about.  Prayer is what hit home the most to me.  I know Heavenly Father can change our hearts and who we are if we just ask and let him work miracles in our lives.  The Atonement of Jesus Christ is the tool to get us there. I love the joy that the gospel gives my life.  Such a feeling of wholeness.

One last funny experience.  Yesterday, on our way to Grandpa's house for the fourth we stopped at a grocery store to pick up a couple of things.  We wanted to be on our way so I said I would hurry and run and be right back.  I had a total momentary lapse in memory of my condition and jumped out of the van and ran for the store as if I was my normal shape.  It didn't work very well.  I kind of waddle ran while laughing at myself at my sudden reality.  Perhaps it felt even more funny than it looked.  I was caught completely off gaurd.   I glanced back at Peter and we made eye contact and I knew he knew.  So when I came out of the store I ran again, just to make him laugh.  I like making fun of myself sometimes. 




 

A Budding Testimony

Dallin's spiritual maturity has really shown since his baptism.  He takes the gospel very seriously and loves to learn from the scriptures.   This morning before church, he was watching a lot of the illustrated scripture stories on lds.org and learning about everything from Joseph Smith and the Gold Plates to Moses.  I love how he just has the drive to do that without any encouragement from us.  It has been really beneficial for our family to only watch church movies and use the church website on Sundays.  The kids seem to be more drawn to the church materials that way so that helps.

I think that is what got the spirit going in his little heart.  When we got to church, we only had about 5 minutes before it started so Peter dropped Dallin and I off at the door to go save a bench for the family.  We sat down together and I could tell that Dallin was feeling extra reverent.  Then he leaned over to me and said, "Mom, I KNOW that the church is true."   followed by, "If there were 5 million bad guys trying to get me to do bad things, I wouldn't do them."  I thanked him for sharing his testimony with me, and told him that because it was fast Sunday, there would be an opportunity for people to go up to the podium to share their testimonies.  I told him that if the spirit made him feel it in his heart to go up and share, he could.  During the songs, Dallin followed along with the words and started singing with gusto, which he has only just started doing the last couple of weeks.  It makes me smile to hear him sing the Hymns. 

During the meeting I was out with Lily most of the time, but Dallin whispered to Peter that he wanted to write a song.  Peter got paper out and dictated for Dallin and what came out was a very mature little page long testimony of Jesus and the gospel.  Peter told Dallin that if he wanted to get up and share his testimony, he would go with him.  Dallin decided to go for it.

So they went up and sat in the stand to wait their turn.  Dallin started to cry a little bit and told Peter he didn't know why he was crying because he wasn't sad.  Then he said his heart was beeping (beating) really fast.  Peter told him that it was because he was feeling the spirit and because he was nervous.

When it was his turn, Dallin very reverently stood at the microphone and said very simply that he knows the church is true and that he was so glad that he got to be baptized and closed with that.  It was a perfect little testimony from his heart. 

I wish so much that I could have heard him instead of dealing with an hour long tantrum, although Peter did a good job in relaying it to me afterward.  I got choked up just hearing about it.  I am so proud of this little man and who he has become.  He will be a great spiritual leader for his siblings and to those around him.  He is a very special little boy.  As his mother, it is an amazing feeling to watch his spirituality grow. Joy would be the best way to describe it.

A Pure Spirit

A couple of weeks ago, Peter's cousin, who has 9 children lost their oldest daughter to lifelong health complications from her down syndrome.  Peter and I love this family and were saddened by their loss. Brittney was the happiest girl to know.  In her short 20 years, she lived a very full life and her very special family gave her all the opportunities of a normal life.  She was an inspiration.  Her memorial was well attended.  Brittney loved markers so this was a boquet a thoughtful family had given to the family. Her favorite color was pink, so the congregation all wore it to honor her memory.  It was all very touching.  I am so sad for her 6 sisters and 2 brothers who miss her so much, but so grateful for the Plan of Salvation.  They all know they will be with Brittney in her perfect form one day.  Brittney always gave me big hugs and was especially excited whenever I was expecting.  She would talk on and on about the baby in my tummy.  I will always remember how special she thought that was.  This girl was pure love to be around.

To Meet a Stake President

We had our Ward conference last night and today.  Peter took the chance to talk to President Dalton about Dallin and his recent baptism.  Peter arranged to introduce Dallin to him today after Sacrament meeting.  During the Sacrament meeting, when President Dalton got up to speak, we pointed it out and Dallin put his book that he was looking at down and sat up tall so that he could see and listen.  It was cute to see him getting so excited.  Then, later after the meeting, Peter brought Dallin to the President and he said "Oh, this must be Dallin." and shook his hand.  He commented on Dallin's new suit and said, "Wow, you look like a prophet!"  Dallin really thought that was great.  What a neat moment.

Summer

I have so much to catch up on.  It has been a whirlwind the last week.  We keep staying up later and later at night and playing more and more.  I am loving not having to get the kids out the door at 7:40 am, no HW to work on with them, no "Is it PE today or Library day?" or pajama day, or hat day. 

I don't want to let the summer get away from us, so I sat down and made some summer objectives, aside from the summer activity list that Dallin and I made the day he got out of school.  I tried to think of what I would really like to accomplish in our home and as a mother with their full influence and time.  I came up with 9 things and then made notes on what I need to do to make it happen.  Here are my 9 things:

1. Obedience. We are always working on this, but I want to really stay on top of follow through and consequences.
2. Work. The kids are doing a lot more chores lately and so our expectations are going up for what they are ready for.  I am adding a lot more work to their Accountable Kids schedules to fill in the extra time.  They actually like it so far.
3. Kindness towards one another.  I am working on teaching by example.  Quiet corrections, no yelling and being respectful is always what I am striving for. When I talk to them I am really stressing that they are each other's best friends and that we are a family team.
4. Reading. I plan on a read aloud hour each afternoon as well as quiet time while they read by themselves.
5. Sitting still.  I have never been able to get this one right with toddlers.  I will be working especially with Lily and Carter on this with a timer.
6. Summer activities (swim lessons, park days etc.).  Swim lessons start next week!  Instead of doing 2 weeks every day this year, we are doing 5 weeks, twice a week.  We will probably do another session and make it 10 weeks.  I really want to see progress in our kids this summer so it better be worth the cost of 3 kids at out of district fees!
7. Gospel Study. Now that we aren't so rushed to get the kids to bed, we are planning to extend our family prayer time in the evening.  Ideally I hope to spend at least a half hour together as a family each night reading, and talking and praying.  We already have a morning devotional time at breakfast so we will have 2 Gospel learning times each day.
8. Family activities.  Although our list is a mile long, I hope to plan at least one big event for each month. I know I am slowing down and will want to be home a lot as it heats up.
9. School time. I am just going to have them sit and do a couple of work pages a day so that they are used to HW and keeps their brains working.


Just some thoughts on motivation.  I am learning more than ever that's what it is all about.  Dallin is crazy about earning money lately (we earn bonus bucks for extra chores and each one is worth .25).  Every day he anxiously asks for more and more chances to work for me.  I am loving what he is suddenly so willing to do!  I usually give him extra chores, but lately I have also assigned him to play with Lily outside on the swings for a set time, and sit and read by himself for 30 minutes among other things.  Anything that used to be a big struggle, I just let him work for now since he is so willing and happy to do it.  Even things I used to say were just part of the responsibility of being in this family or growing up.  I realize now this isn't a bad thing at all.  He is learning to work and do chores with a willing heart.  Now I have noticed that when I ask him to do something that isn't for a bonus buck like the dishes, he just does it! And he has gained enough experience   that I don't have to walk him through it as much. He has become less of a mess maker and more responsible all around.  I think life is about motivation for anyone so I don't feel like I am setting him up for dissapointment.  Some day he will go to work everyday to support his family, just so he can bring home a paycheck.  Eden is jumping on that bandwagon to some extent too so I am enjoying the benefits.  It's been a long time coming to have some extra helping hands around here. Yay for me!

Journaling

We have a lot going on here lately.  We have had 3 birthdays in a row, a baptism, 2 bouts of the flu (I am so tired of dealing with vomit and diarrhea, I don't even want to go there),  and now we are getting ready for a wedding and a funeral.  The kids will be out of school for summer as of 11:20 today.  They are excited!  Dallin is already brainstorming what fun we will have.  A beach trip is first on his list. Oh mercy, I am afraid of the heat and large belly combo while trying to keep up. I am so grateful for the mild weather we have had so far.  

I am trying to get our house ready to host 2 of the groom's families for the wedding.  It is getting there slowly but surely. I move in slow motion when I clean lately and my hip gives up on me oh so easily, so I finally recruited the help of a fabulous young lady from church.  Oh man, if only life was so kind all the time!  The festivities start Wednesday and don't stop until next Tuesday.  Since so much family will be here we are going into full on family reunion mode.  Busy busy! 

Change is good.  I have been through a humbling process these last few weeks and written about it a couple of times.  I have contemplated life a lot and where I am and where I want to be.  I have been reading a lot of scriptural based books, parenting books, praying more and relating my life more to the lessons from scripture study.   I feel so much more at peace than I was just a month ago.  Heavenly Father is changing my heart.  It is amazing how when mommy is at peace, the whole feeling in the home changes.   I am relishing every moment with our little ones and using behavior issues as true teaching moments. 

I have resolved to live my life more as a Christlike example.  I just can't teach my children one way and act another.  It won't add up.  I am living a religion outwardly, but really searching deeper into my soul for continuity of being more like Him inwardly.  I am working hard on this every day knowing that through Him, all things are possible.   My heart is encouraged and I am not as overwhelmed as I was.   Working the Atonement in my life has made all the difference.  I know that all mothers go through these sorts of times and that God is there to lift us through it, and learn and grow from it.  I never cease to be amazed at the growth that comes from being a mother.  Those little people see every move you make,  every mood you are in, and hear every word. Your true heart is exposed wide open and your flaws wave at you with bright red flags, ready to be molded and changed into something better. 

Memorial Day Camping Weekend

My family decided to have a family reunion for Memorial Day this year. We were excited up until we found out that the weather wasn't going to cooperate and we got sick.  We ended up not going the first night (most of the others didn't either).  The next morning we paced ourselves getting ready and headed over. The weather was beautiful when we got there and everyone was a little weak, but not horrible. We set up our camp, and enjoyed sitting by the fire and visiting.  I must say it felt really good to be out in the open after being cooped up with sickness for so many days. 

Poor Lily mostly sat on laps the first day.  She just wasn't quite herself yet.


My Dad will hate that I put this on here, but I think it is a great picture.  My Dad rocks.


Our camping spot turned out to be right next to a play area, which was such a life saver.  There were LOTS of little ones with energy to burn.  Peter and I did not expect to be able to relax on this trip, but since the kids were busy playing right where we could see them, it could not have been more perfect.


Dallin headed up a group determined to dig a huge tunnel. After reaching the bottom of the sand about 8 inches down, the idea eventually wore off.  Too cute, I totally remember doing that as a kid.


Relaxing


The best thing we brought for the kids was a bucket of little cars and trains.  That provided lots of entertainment in the sand.


Eden telling a funny story to her cousin.


Tanner was a little mopey still at times.  He and Lily were hit the hardest with the sickies.


Just a few feet from our fire pit.  It was mostly just our group at this area the whole time.


My sisters baby bump.  She is one month ahead of me and we are both having boys!





My Mom and Dad.  One of my favorite things to see even as an adult.


A little creative cooking.  Gross.


All 17 grandkids accounted for.


Our whole family group. Since we all live around here, no one was missing.  I love it when we are complete.


Sweet Mom and I.  This counts as my current belly pic.



We did get a couple of rain showers the first evening, but the rest of the time was dry.  We had a hard night sleeping the first night, but slept great the second night.  I was enjoying nature and simplicity so much by the end I didn't want to leave.  We made some great memories.

BYU-Sick

I have this funny thing that I haven't written about before.  I LOVE my Alma Matter.  I loved being there so much that I was in no hurry to leave.  It took me 6 years to get my Bachelors degree.  In my defense, I had a high credit major plus a minor and I took summers off.  But really, I was just having so much fun learning I could have taken another 6 to do everything I wanted to.  I want to be a student for the rest of my life.   I have so many great memories and gained so much life experience.  I get so homesick for it sometimes(well, except for the testing center).  On days when I am knee deep in laundry I think about how I miss those times once in a while.  It must have been a blast to be there this year during the Jimmer craze. 

I remember not getting in the first time I applied to BYU. I was devastated.  I prayed fervently late into the night and got the most strong answer to prayer that I had ever received.  The answer was in the scriptures.  I opened them up and the words told me that I would have what I desired (I was 18 and too dumb to write down the reference though).  So I pursued on, made a dramatic jump in my ACT score and was able to get in for the next semester. 

Then when I finally got there I checked into the dorms and headed for campus, my campus.  I remember feeling so humbled to be there.  Every time I would walk up the hill those first few days, I would get choked up.  This was a dream coming true and I was feeling so blessed.  I first toured BYU when I was 16 and fell in love, so to be back as a student was overwhelming.

I met the most amazing lifetime friends there, sisters to me.  Peter and I courted post-mission there.  I got to be a newlywed there, experience my first pregnancy there, and have our first year of being parents there.  Then we got to walk away with degrees, what an awesome feeling.  I hope so much that my children will want to have that amazing experience too.

I woke up this morning thinking about it for some reason.  I cherish my college memories.  I love my life now and wouldn't change one thing, but a little part of me longs to be there again. I know it is silly, but that was just such a special time in my life.  Go Cougars!

Journaling

One of these days, I will stop being lazy and get recent pictures up...but not today!

On this week:
This has been quite a yucky week for us.  When a stomach bug hits, it really takes a week to cycle through. It all started Monday morning and as of today we are still having lots of, hmmm...issues.  My main goal right now is to keep kids hydrated.  We are planning to go camping all weekend with my fam, but I haven't had a chance to even think about getting ready.  I only left the house today for the first time since Sunday.  So much to do+ rainy forecast + lingering sickness + bad pregnancy back for sleeping away from my adjustable bed= I have no idea how this will go.  I am sure there be plenty of memorable moments.

Hope.

On Special Education:
So the reason I finally left the house today was for Dallin's annual IEP (special education)  meeting.  This has been a very frustrating year for Dallin and for us.  Things have been way below our expectations and there have been many ups and downs.  Dallin really struggles in his current school setting.  (for record reasons: our main concerns have been struggling with reading, anxiety and stress over reading, and behavior issues) I have even at times questioned whether moving home was the best thing for him.  We have been considering other options for schooling next year.  So as I anticipated this meeting the last couple of weeks, I had a very bad attitude. I was feeling just done with the situation. This is so not my character but I was fighting the urge to go into the meeting and give them all the bird (Joke: please know that I would never do this to anyone).

This morning as I prayed for wisdom and insight for Dallin for this meeting, I actually felt very calm and peaceful. I had no idea what to expect.  I have had terrible IEPs and great ones. I just went into it knowing my concerns and keeping an open mind.  I went in with a smile on my face to all the familiar people that I have been working with for the last year and a half. The feeling in the room was very warm.  We got right to business and I was allowed to express my concerns right away.  The response was that we were all on exactly the same page! We were completely in sync.  The specialist had prepared a very well thought out list of current progress and issues, and goals for next year.  They had even prepared the most wonderful solutions and ideas tailored just for him for next year.  Things that I wouldn't have even thought of.  Things that sounded so right for him. I had total confirmation in my heart. A far cry from where I was before.

I have gone from not even wanting to send him back to this school to actually looking forward to it.  No one is more surprised than me.  I still have a concern or two, but knowing that these people really do know him, care about him and  are willing give him all the supports to ensure his success puts me at ease.  His reading teacher this year is going to be his teacher next year, so they know each other well already.  Every step and decision that we make for Dallin is no easy thing.  I feel like a blind person that needs to get from point A to point B.  I am feeling much relief today from a burden that has been very heavy.

Grateful.


On Motherhood:
Finally, I just have follow up thoughts on my motherhood post.  I have gained a lot of perspective and peace from all of my frustrations.  My new motto is: "Try your best and God will make up the difference." I read that in a parenting book and it just kinda glued to my heart.  The adversary is very good at convincing us that we aren't good enough and we become discouraged.   I knew that this was happening to me, but couldn't seem to pull out of it very easily.  Through lots of prayer and heartache, God has shown me my strengths and that I am not so bad after all.  I need to enjoy my talents I have been given and what I am good at.  I will always be working on things that I fall short on, but He will make up the difference. That's what the Savior's Atonement is for. 

Peace.

On Pregnancy:
I am slowing down more all the time now.  I am trying to be very careful with myself so that I can get through the next few weeks and not burn out.  I am purposely not taking on extra commitments.  I am a sturdy built capable girl, but for the first time, I am actually heeding the advice not to lift too much or overdo it.  I had severe bone separation pain in my pelvis throughout most of my second and third trimester in my last pregnancy.  So far I can feel that it is happening again, but I am trying to be careful not to make it worse.  I can tell when I have done something more than I should if I start to feel the pain so it is my compass.  Last time, I had to adapt how I moved, got up, rolled over in bed, got out of bed, etc.  So this time I have already adapted my movement in the same way so that I do not aggravate the situation.  So far it is working well and I am pretty pain free that way.  Perhaps it is inevitable, but I am doing better than last time so far.
 I am feeling more movement inside, but I still don't feel a lot because of the placement of the placenta.  So weird!

I didn't handle our sickness as well as the others in our house this week.  I think because of pregnancy related reflux/heartburn, once I started throwing up, I couldn't stop.  I had far more episodes than anyone else.  This is one of my least favorite human experiences. I was so glad when it was over. 

I am out of the chubby phase now and definitely looking pregnant.  This makes me a little more self conscious when I go out with "ALL" my kids.  I wonder what it looks like to see a frazzled mommy with 5 kids under 8 AND a big belly.  

Wow.

Motherhood

This is a real, raw post.  This is not my usual happy upbeat loving life kind of thing.  Those have been a little sparse lately.  But this is me right now and I want to write about what life is really like at the moment:

I couldn't find my USB cord so I don't have pictures to post.  This is the story of my life lately.  I don't really have a cluttery house as in a lot of extra stuff around.  I am a minimalist.  But, when everything we own seems to be stirred like a big messy pot, it is hard to find anything.  My 2 youngest are doing me in.  I have completely lost control at my house.  This is why my Facebook status says, "I live in a shoe."  I don't know what to do. My "downs" in the ups and downs of life seem to go farther than usual. All of my children are going through phases right now and I am just trying to be patient.  That is my one and only goal right now.  I know, I am really reaching for the stars.  Luckily, in my almost 8 years of experience, I know that these times don't last.  I know that the family dynamic is ever changing.  I just hope I can get a grip before, say late September before I lose my standing again.

This job is very humbling. Having no control over ANYTHING can do that to someone.  I have been driven to my knees more than ever lately.  I found that my prayers have even changed when I talk to the Lord.  I have been praying for strength, patience, energy.  All that good mom stuff.  But the other day something new broke through, total submission.  I found myself saying, "Heavenly Father, I am trying, I am willing, my desires are sincere. It is not enough.  Please carry me. I am weak."

This motherhood thing is so much more difficult thing I could have ever imagined.  Yet I know this is my calling in life, even before this life I am sure.  Our particular situation right now seems unreal to me.  I look around and think, wow, here we are and now how do I do this? And my answer is to focus on my strengths, not my shortcomings (list too long to comprehend).  I am good at being affectionate, adoring, nurturing, loving, making children feel special and important.  I can handle that (as long as my patience is in check).

I do believe that Peter and I have been given the ultimate blessing.  An abundant blessing. Going through this season for me is causing me to learn so much. It has caused me to turn inward to reflection.  To learn things about myself that I didn't know were there.  Good and bad things.  I think this would be called a growing experience.  This is true, as my family grows, I grow inside. I change.  My heart changes. My desires change. Sometimes daily. I think this is what this mortal experience is supposed to be like.  We are supposed to be here to learn, grow, experience.  A while back I asked a mother who has more children than I do how to gain more patience.  Her answer was very surprising at the time. She said, "Have more children."  I see so much wisdom in that now.  We grow as we do hard things. It is all part of the Plan.

So I am grateful. Not just for these times, but for the overwhelming joys that I get to experience each day too.  Chubby hands, developing minds, growing testimonies, sticky kisses, to be loved and looked to as a mother, an example and a teacher.  To even be entrusted with someone extra special.  It's overwhelming.  I don't deserve so many blessings.   

Last night Peter took our 3 boys to the Father Son Campout. I am sure they had a blast.  Then this morning my phone rang at 5am.  It was Peter.  He told me he needed to bring Carter home because he croupy and really struggling.  A while later they arrived.  Peter layed Carter on the other side of my bed and he looked fine.  Peter said  that now that they were up and around, his cough was gone.  It is only when he is laying down.  Peter asked Carter if he wanted to go back to camping and Carter eagerly nodded his head.

So Peter walked around to where I was laying and gave me a sweet kiss goodbye and then told Carter, "Lets go."  Carter having witnessed  this jumped up and said, "Wait, I want to kiss Mommy!"  He ran around to my side, gave me a kiss with his cold lips and then said, "I want to hug you."  He did, and they happily left to return to the fun.  Man I felt so overwhelmed. Nothing in this life brings so much joy as my family.  Its those moments, the ones that happen every day (times 5) that bring so much fulfillment, so much joy, so much happiness.    Even when I am not all together.  Even when I feel like a failure. Even when I don't know what I am doing or which way is up.  It is still worth every moment.  I'll take it all.

FHE

Last night was such a fun simple FHE.  I want to remember how easy it can be, but how important it is. 

Our laundry room and my bedroom had become large piles of laundry lately.  It was about as bad as it can get.  It was like a tornado hit and I just felt sick to my stomach every time I went out to the laundry room.  It was everywhere, asking to be sorted and washed and organized top to bottom.  So Yesterday was laundry day.  I would set the alarm on my phone and keep it in my pocket and change the loads on the hour.  I made a point to put away each load as it came out of the dryer.  Thank goodness for the community closet for the kids, that made it so much easier.  I don't really have an excuse for being that far behind, I just know I don't want to be there again.

The exhausting part is keeping the kids going all day while trying to multitask this big project.  Especially with a one and two year old determined to keep me mentally over the edge.  But I focused on taking care of them AND kept to the grindstone.

 But then Peter worked late and didn't get home until 6:30.  I was so far past the edge by then, that I was doing all I could to keep myself together.  Peter called when he was nearly home and cheerfully said, "So what do you want to do for FHE?"  I mumbled something about I don't know, but I am so tired and done.  I think he took that as his cue that he was going to have to take over if it was to happen.

Peter came home and I went and rested for about 5 minutes, ready to surrender the day.  Then I heard Peter gathering the kids and lots of whining about what activity we were going to do.  Dallin really wanted to to Wii bowling.  Peter didn't want to go to the trouble of cleaning the basement, finding all the remotes and game and getting it all set up.  Then he said, "Okay guys, we are going to do our own bowling."  I joined them as they gathered plastic cups and a heavy ball (you know the ones filled with water and glitter).  The kids set up the "pins" and started taking turns knocking them down.

At first it was just a lot of whining, but then the magic of FHE happened. Everyone started to enjoy one another.  Every time someone knocked the pins down, everyone would cheer and hug and high five.  Even Lily took her turn from point blank range and everyone had to smile at how cute she was.  She would sit down and clap and yell "Yay!" with everyone when she got them all and soaked up the praise from her family.  Tanner and Eden would do huge celebratory hugs by lifting each other off the ground in excitement.  Dallin didn't want anything to do with that at first, but by the end he was right with them. 

I am so grateful that Peter pulled it together when I was giving in to weakness and that we didn't miss such a wonderful bonding experience.  So simple, yet one of the best FHEs we have had in a long time.  What a great commandment to do this once a week. What a blessing it is to have family.  By the end I had forgotten how long my day had been and remembered what life is really all about.  Not laundry!

Baby

I started to get a little nervous as it got closer to time to have my ultrasound.  Especially after being so sure that it was a girl.  I think part of me just doesn't think I can handle 4 boys, so that was my way of keeping my sanity going into the whole thing. I picked up my older kids from school early and dropped off the 2 younger ones with a friend and headed to the appointment.  I was anxious to see the little one because this time, the placenta is on the front of my uterus (sorry, graphic) which makes it really hard to feel any movement.  I have to lie very still and it is so subtle that Peter hasn't even been able to feel the baby kick yet.  This is very different than all the other times.  After having a little scare with the last ultrasound, I was a little worked up again.  I had vivid baby dreams all night just like last time.  The kids enjoyed being there.  Tanner was very confused by the pictures.  When we looked at the heart, he was sure that did not look like one.  I see his point.  It didn't take long to get a nice good view of the gender though and all the wondering came to an end.  So....

This baby definitely has an outy! I was so shocked I couldn't even say anything. Now that it is real, of COURSE we are so delighted.  Apparently you can't control everything in life, ha ha.  I figure, we are used to active boys.  Even Lily is pretty rough and tough like a boy so bring it on, we can handle it.  I know the Lord knows me and this is just as it should be.  But now that we know, I just can't wait to get my hands on him.  Am I am really only half way there?

Before

We had quite an eventful week with our yard last week.  First of all, we were noticing how much our 2 pin oak trees have grown since moving here 7 years ago. They were getting so big that they were starting to take over the yard.  Last summer, we didn't get much sun at all. And the millions of leaves that came from these 75 foot trees was crazy.  Our neighbors had both asked us if we were ever going to take them out. We started thinking that we could do a lot more with our yard without these dominating lovelies around.  The first guy that came told me that even though these trees were 40 years old, they were still babies. What!?! They just keep growing for at least 100 years.  I believed him after seeing how much they grew in 7.  These are not yard trees! Now we felt like we had no choice. After shopping around for an estimate we decided it was time to say goodbye. 






It took 5 guys 4 solid hours of hard work to bring down each tree.  It is quite fascinating to watch.  There was one guy up in the tree and other guys below lowering one branch at a time and sawing it into pieces and taking it out front to the chipper. When only the trunk was left, they guy just started at the top and cut one log at a time off until he got to the bottom. Dallin was home sick the first day and sat and watched out the window nearly the whole time.  We hate to think about how we could have used the money on other things, but we are both glad it is just done, it needed to happen. We used all the bark chips from the second tree to lay all around the back of the yard around the playhouse because it gets really muddy back there. We also kept a small supply of wood for camping. We still have one 75 foot tall evergreen in the corner and 2 smaller breed of oaks on one side and lots of mature landscape to enjoy from the neighbors.


Here is what is left from my cute gardens from last year(below). Yikes.  We threw the boxes away because we learned that you should not make them with pressure treated wood. The dirt was still there under the leaves.  The week before, we went and bought everything we need to make new boxes and expand for this year.  I was so excited to get started.   Saturday was a gorgeous day and I had dubbed it "garden day".  Peter went to run a half marathon in the morning so I decided to get started.  I raked all these leaves first.  Then I laid a huge tarp on the lawn and shoveled all the dirt onto it. Then I had to pull huge heavy bags of new material to add to the dirt that we already had.  I added more compost, vermiculite, and peat moss in large quantities and had to mix it all with shovel and rake like a big cake mix.  Oh man, my body hurts just thinking about it. After 2 hours, my prego body was overdone.  I was determined to get the project done though so when Peter got home, also exhausted, we mowed down the blackberries that sprung up, evened out the ground a little and laid some more weed cloth down.  It cleaned up really nicely.  Peter built the new boxes which are one 4x4 and 2 4x8, quite a bit more than last year.  Once we had them in the right spots, we filled them with our new "Mel's Mix" soil that I had made. Its a beautiful thing.  We got the grids on top mostly done, but Peter decided he had better finish bringing the bark chips back from the driveway. That was about 100 wheel barrels full.  The finished boxes look great and all we need to do now is lay down some pea gravel around them and plant!

Our yard is really starting to come together now.  I need to take the after pictures still so stay tuned.   I loved working out there though, it was so rewarding to see it all come together.  We still have a mile long list of things we want to do with it, but we sure do love our yard. The kids are out there all the time.  
Here are a few things we hope to do this summer. We want it to be nice, but mostly a kid haven: finish up playhouse(I am actually excited about that!)
plant the garden
dec out the inside of playhouse
put down grass seed on baldy lawn
hang cool patio lights on covered patio
get new gravel for side of house and garden area
put swings upmake climbing wall on side of playhouse
install a zip line
hammock between our "little" oaks that we still have
fire pit
clear out and level north side of housegeneral clean up and grooming
spruce up front yard(it is embarrassingly overgrown at the moment)

I hope we will have lots of Saturdays to work out there this year. I have more hope for our yard than I have had in a long time now that the overbearing trees are gone. I love having our own little piece of earth to make our own.

Mama Wagon

I woke up in the night to help a kid and realized, it wasn't a dream.  I walked past our front window and jumped a little bit, since I am not used to seeing this!  It really happened. We finally took the plunge and got me a Mama wagon.

We have talked about getting one of these for a couple of years, so it is surreal that it is here. We had waited until it became a need instead of a want. I love it! After weeks of researching, yesterday as I was browsing the internet, this one that I have seen many times before just called to me.  It was the one!

I met up with Peter at the dealership and we felt really good about it. Negotiations went really well and we got a great deal. We even traded our minivan in, which was totally unexpected for me. How easy is that? They will even mail us our new plates and take care of the DMV stuff. I was not  expecting to actually buy it yesterday either so it all just happened so fast (well, over a 4 hour span). We even had Dallin and Lily with us so we were not prepared for doing so much business. The other kids played at Peter's Mom's house.

It is not new, it is a 2006, which feels pretty dang new to me. Thanks to a great tax return we were able to keep our commitment to each other not to take on car payments.

So here it is, Ta-dah!

Don't laugh, I know it is not the coolest car on the block.  But to me, it is just what we need and when I see it I think of all the fun we will have with it. "Oh, the places we'll go!" I think its pretty so that's good enough for me.  I love the feel of such a powerful engine and sitting up a bit higher gives me an ego boost (short complex anyone?).  But alas, I will be the one driving like a granny to try to save gas mileage.  I will be keeping my foot off the gas as much as humanly possible.  Although the MPG is a lot better that I was expecting(15/19).

So to break it in yesterday, we got back to Peter's parents house, picked up our whole family, Peters parents, brother and sister, and Peter's cousin, maxing out the 12 person capacity with ease, and drove to the other side of Portland to celebrate Grandpa H.'s 96th birthday. It drove so smoothly even with such a full load and didn't struggle a bit to go up big hills with it's 5.4L engine. I had imagined feeling like a bus driver, but it really doesn't feel different then driving a minivan. And the coolest part, we watched a movie all the way there. Super bonus for me, that is not a common feature for these cars!

Driving around, I felt a little sad about leaving our minivan behind, we had a lot of fun with it. Okay, I know I am not normal, but then I said to myself, "I have arrived!" My life dream of a full sized family is finally here and this is the car to go with it. I could have predicted this for my life when I was 3.

I hate spending money on cars and the whole process so I am planning to drive this baby until it will go no more. It's kind of like settling into a house that you plan to raise a family in, except a car.

It is very easy to drive (it is actually an inch or two shorter in length compared to a suburban, just more of a big box). Although I haven't had to back up much yet. I think I will avoid that as much as possible. But it is very comfortable. I like the color. I was just hoping to avoid white so I am happy. I am just tickled about the whole thing.  I am grateful for this blessing and what it means to our family and it is more than I could have hoped for.

I had to hold my camera way above my head to take this. The light part on the bottom is the back bench. Holy hugeness Batman!

Conference

What a great General Conference weekend (When the leaders of the church give semi-annual televised talks).  I was left feeling humbled, inspired and feeling much work to do. 

With so many talks on marriage, I realized something more than ever.  After being married for 10 years, I am still so very immature.  Hence the humbling part.  Having children has given me unbelievable growth, I can see that, but I could be so much more than what I am. I am in my infancy of where I hope to some day be.  I want to shake off this selfishness that is part of me and grow into something more.  Someone who tirelessly serves her family and friends while not being concerned with herself.  I believe there are so many blessings in store for living a life of selflessness.  More joy, meaning, fulfillment, purpose.  And I especially want to use my life as a living example to my children.

I can't wait to go back and review all that was given, it was way more than I could take in at once. So much inspiration.  I especially loved the topics on personal revelation, trials, marriage, and parenting. Everything was so in sync, so amazing.  These men and women are such spiritual giants.  It is so inspiring. 

The kids were in and out, but overall I think they did pretty well.  During one of the sessions, we did a project that kept them in the room with their hands busy.  That helped a lot.  We laminated and cut out all of our Accountable Kids cards.  They were really into it. We didn't have any conference packets this time so we just let them color in color books the rest of the time.  That kept them around a little more.  Sometimes it was too noisy to hear much, and other times, they lost interest and left to go play.  I think they are getting it more each time we have conference though.  One speaker Dallin recognized all on his own which was fun. It was Dallin H. Oaks of course! 

Preggo Notes

I haven't written many details about how the pregnancy has been going yet so I wanted to write down a few thoughts.

This was a planned pregnancy, as they all have been. I have never been "surprised". I was very scared and overwhelmed about going through 9 uncomfortable months of not being myself again however. I was having second thoughts. I was starting to think that maybe if I didn't get pregnant right away, we would wait another year. But that was not meant to be and I am grateful that Heavenly Father knows me well enough to hold me to our plans. We must have anxious little spirits (that's what Peter's blessing says) because this same exact thing happened when I got pregnant with Lily. So once again we go forward with faith. In hind sight, I have been so glad each time that it worked out this way.

Another pattern that I have noticed is that with this pregnancy and the last, Dallin has seemed to know when it was time. About the time we had decided we would go for it, Dallin approached me and let me know that he thought I should have another baby. We hadn't mentioned anything to the kids of course, we were just privately discussing it. He put on the pressure for a couple of weeks without us letting him know that we were on the same page. He just seems to know, it is kind of spooky. We didn't let the kids know we were expecting for almost 3 months, but he was a very happy boy when we finally filled him in on it.

When I had my first OB appointment I had an ultrasound and they saw something that prompted them to have me do another one 2 weeks later to do a screen for Downs. I knew that didn't mean anything for sure, but it was really scary since nothing like this has ever happened. I just tried to put it out of my mind, but the night before the second ultrasound I was restless and had nightmares the whole night. I was very nervous as the technician started the process and I had no indication of what she found until about an hour afterward. When I finally talked to the Dr., she said that things looked better, but it would take a week to get the final results combined with my blood work. I wasn't too worried after that and then I finally got the call that said we had a 1 in 2900 chance, which is even lower than the average person my age. All that worrying for nothing. I will love any baby that comes to us of course, but the unknown was sure a lot of stress.

This is the first pregnancy that I have decided not to keep track of where I am and just go with the flow. I have always known to the day how far along I am, but I just wanted to see what it is like to just be. I like it. I am not nearly as preoccupied with the time line so I believe I am much more content and less anxious than usual. I honestly cannot tell you what week I am right now! I could guess within a week or two, but all I know for sure is that I am in my second trimester. It's kinda fun not knowing.

This is also the first time being pregnant and feeling like it could possibly be the last time... or not, who knows. I have always gone into this knowing that we would have more so this is a totally new frame of mind. 6 seems like a lot to me so from now on, we are not on any kind of plan. We have always had a plan so I am digging this. We are just going to enjoy the abundance that we have and go from there. To get rid of baby clothes or not is the question of the day though...

Oh yes, then there is my 101 goals.  Hah!  I told myself when I made my list that If I had any pregnancies during this time, that I would allow an extension.  Hey, its my game, I can change the rules if I want right?  So although I am working on it, it is not in the forefront of my mind at the moment, surviving is.  I am so okay with that.

This was a difficult first trimester as expected. I spent much time mothering from the couch. I was nauseous, exhausted, overwhelmed and depressed most of the time.  Now that I am past that, I feel a surge of energy and health that I am just loving.  I can't believe how different I feel.  I let the house go more than ever so now I am slowing getting back into productive mode.  It is hard with a 1 and 2 year old tornado going around all the time though.  I am just so indescribably grateful that I am feeling better, I don't really have words.

I seem to have an unconscious goal of record weight gain this time.  For real, I don't know what has come over me, but I can't stop eating and craving food.  Salty, sweet, spicy, yes please.  Salty food is probably my number one choice.  I am also very prone to suggestion. I am really trying to eat healthy, but if I see a food or even hear about a food, I start to obsess over it until I have it. Nothing is satisfying until I do. I feel like I am out of control.  At first it was to ward off morning sickness because I am less sick if I eat all the time, but now maybe it is just habit. I am not in maternity pants yet, but on my last pair of my "fat" pants.  I am trying not to keep track of weight gain either this time because of this.  Seriously, I do NOT want to know.  (I may not keep junk food in the house much anymore, but trust me, I find a way. Shhhhh).



Here is another new for this pregnancy: In my mind this baby is definitely a girl. I went into this "knowing" that it is a girl. It has to be.  I have never ever felt like that before.  It is a girl and you can't tell me otherwise. 3 girls, 3 boys just makes sense and I LOVE having girls.  I just need one more. I have had preferences but not such a strong feelings before.  Don't get me wrong, this is not self prophesy or anything.  I don't think it means anything. If it is a boy that will be fine, but I will have to have to make a major frame of reference change for sure! Yes, we will be finding out at 20 weeks and I may feel like a very silly woman.   

The kids love the new baby. When we have family prayer we do hugs after and sing a silly song to go with it.  They have now added a verse that says, "Everybody hug the new baby" repeated over and over. and they really do hug and kiss my chubby and not yet pregnant looking belly.

I think I am starting to feel little kicks as of yesterday. I love this baby so much already, maybe more than usual after going through the screening and worrying and praying for the little one so much.

So there you have many similarities/differences from my previous experiences.

A Little Retrospect

I have been contemplating my life a little bit today after reading some past posts.  I am so so very grateful that I have written down so many things the last few years.  It made me think, I need to write my thoughts on life more because I enjoy reading about it later.  I am so grateful to remember different times that I would not remember now otherwise.  So Here I go.

I was reading about some family outings and looking at pictures from a couple of years ago and thinking, wow they were so little! Life has changed so much. It kind of made my heart ache a little because I know they are growing up.  My Dallin is going to be baptised soon and then within 8 more years, they will all be baptised!  I just kind of feel like I am being pushed out of an airplane against my will.  I mean, I want them to grow up, but when I look at the past I miss that too. I can't get over how little, tan and blond they were! Where are my babies going? 

I guess it is weird to talk this way because I am still having babies and have a 1 and 2 year old. I am just missing how little the first 3 children were.  As I was reading things I was writing about the time Carter was born. I was also thinking how life was so much more simple then. Having 3 kids was hard and then after 4 life was kind of smooth sailing for a while.  Dallin was in full blown therapy and making incredible progress, and they were getting just old enough that they were all more independent and I was enjoying having a little baby to focus on as well.

Having Lily has been so wonderful too, but something about having 5 children has made life much more complicated than 4 was.  It has been a big adjustment.  I remember having 3 or 4 kids and taking more time to put together cute outfits for them all the time.  I know I was busy then too, but now I am just happy to get a bag of hand me downs from someone to add to their wardrobe. I am happy when all 5 kids are dressed for the day. Just put on any shirt and pants and Mommy is happy.  This is just one example.  Lily has been a dream baby.  She is just so cute and girly.  But I haven't really been able to enjoy all the cute girly clothes and bows like I did with Eden.  She is in footsie pajamas most days because it is just easier.  We are now one of "those" family that gets to church barely on time with kids who don't have their hair combed half the time.  And I am just sitting there relieved that we found shoes for all of them to wear.

There really was something about going to 5 that mentally just sent me past a breaking point. I think even Peter has felt a big difference.  It seems like we have quite an extreme lifestyle now.  I have had almost a year and a half to adjust to this now, and I think I am finally really adjusted.  There is just so much going on that you have to let a lot of things go that used to be important to you and focus on the most important things, like getting homework done or teaching kids how to do their chores or other life lessons. I have to let things go (like the house) and in order to keep my sanity, REALLY let it go and not think about it.

A big part of going to 5 was that there are more children than we have arms.  Really, that is a big deal.  At first we really didn't know what to do about that.  It was much more simple to go out before because we would each pick 2 kids to be in charge of and we could easily manage one with each arm if we need to cross the street or if we were in a crowded place.  Shortly after we had Lily, Peter asked a dad in our ward who has lots of kids how they manage this.  He said halfway joking that you have to start playing zones!  We thought that was so funny, but now I think I have finally figured out what that means for us. 

When we do something now, we often break up into 2 groups.  Usually one of us will help the 3 older ones and the other the 2 little ones.  This usually means not staying together.  Like OMSI the other day, I stayed with little ones in the kid area and Peter took the older ones to the planetarium.  When we take the kids to the dollar theatre lately, we found it was just easier if one of us stays home with the littles and the other goes alone with the bigs.  This "playing zones" took a while for us to figure out because we have always done everything together no matter how hard it is. Now we prefer to find something appropriate for the age groups and split up.  But it really works much better.  When we do go somewhere all together, we still just scramble to do the best that we can and go with it, which is fine for us too.  Luckily our older ones are able to manage themselves more and more all the time as well.

I just think it is so interesting that I think life was so simple with 4 children and with 5 it is a whole different story.  I wonder if it is like this for other mothers in the same shoes. I am so happy with the choices we have made.  I mean, life without my Lily would be unimaginable.  She makes me feel more complete, like they all do. They each have a piece of my heart and it wouldn't work right if any piece were missing. 

So, we venture on to make our family more complete.  I have always known deep in my soul that there were many children for us.  It is who we both are.  It is so fun.  Fulfilling. It is the only way for us.  But I am hoping that going from 5 to 6 will be sort of like going from 3 to 4 was for me.  So I wonder, now that we are used to this newer more extreme way of life, will going to 6 be just adding to our joy without so much adjustment?  I really do think so.  I am ready for it and I feel like I can handle it just as well (or not well) as I am handling things now. 

Well, there is one big adjustment.  We will no longer fit into a minivan...dun dun dun!  I am hoping to make that change very soon though so it won't be a new thing for me by September.  I really like our van and would have been happy to drive it for another 5 years. I have known this was coming for a long time though.  You think of these things before, you know.  It is just another part of our life.  I like my life. I like extreme.

Whole

 have been thoroughly enjoying one of my passion lately.  I have always been interested in nutrition and try to feed my family healthy, but have taken it to a new exciting level lately. I read a few nutrition blogs and just admire the amazing women who have so much knowledge and put it to real life.  It all seemed a little overwhelming for me though. We have a lot of healthy habits but not to the degree that some people have.  I just didn't really know how to get from where I was to where I want to be though.

Then a few weeks ago on a blog, I found a link to the green smoothie girl website.  She is an LDS lady from Utah that has studied nutrition for years and feeds her family a 60% raw, whole foods diet.  Like who does that? I was intrigued and watched lots of her video demonstrations.  Apparently people were so interested in her lifestyle that she started teaching classes and writing books and is now very popular because she is a practical mom who makes this lifestyle doable for a family.  She bases all of her beliefs about nutrition on solid science based research, which happens to correlate beautifully with the Word of Wisdom(LDS Scriptural guidelines) as well as the Bible.  I have studied a lot of diet/nutrition books and what she teaches is much more in line with my spiritual beliefs than anything else I have studies.  I think that is why I like her so much. Until recently I have been a fan of the Body for Life plan.  I always thought it sounded solid, but just couldn't get over how much animal protein is encouraged.  Now I know that you really can get plenty of protein and all the nutrition you need from a mainly plant based diet (She encourages only 5% animal protein and gives proof of why it is healthier).

That is just the tip of the iceberg however.  I studied her website completely until I just wanted to learn it all and purchased the download of her 12 steps to whole foods program. This is a 300 page book packed with information and recipes.  It really is a wealth of knowledge. I read it all pretty quickly.  She breaks it into 12 steps so that you can implement one step each month(or whatever your timeline is) for a year.  I can handle that!  I have wanted to eat this way for so long, but just didn't know where to start.  Last summer I checked out a huge stack of vegetarian/vegan cook books hoping to incorporate more plant food into our diet, but got overwhelmed and took them all back without trying even one recipe.

Maybe I am just more ready now, but the way this book is written just works with they way I think and I am so eager to follow the complete program.   Each chapter gives lots of information on the subject with references to specific studies or books followed by tons of great recipes to try. There are a couple steps that I have a diversion to, but I am willing to try and everything else I think will be fabulous.  I have already tried several recipes and they do not dissapoint.

As you can guess from the name, the first step is making green smoothies.  Seriously, one quart of this has 15 servings of fruits of vegetables!  No one eats enough greens and they are truly superfoods so to get this already broken down and easily digestable form that tastes great is really neat.  I haven't gotten into the habit of making them every single day but a few times a week works well for us. We already happened to have a high power blender and make smoothies all the time anyway so this wasn't too hard for us(just a change of color). My whole family enjoys them and my pickiest eater likes them the most (I told him it was Spiderman food).  I fed one to Lily for the first time and she cried when it was all gone! My Mom started making them too and has lost a noticeable amount of weight with no other diet changes. 

I enjoy grocery shopping now because it feels so good to put such nutritious food into my cart.  Half of the cart is fresh produce and the other half is from the bulk foods.  Now my pantry is full of this stuff:


Most of this is for super healthy granola and a few other recipes. (chopped dates, cashews, flax seed, wheat germ, sunflower seeds, poppyseeds, rolled oats, walnuts, raw shredded coconut, sesame seeds, and pumpkin seeds)Yum!  And I know what to do with all of this now! I love skipping all the processed stuff. I am a lot more picky about what comes into our house, but also keeping things realistic.  I can only do as much as I can do, but it is a great feeling to keep things going in the right direction.

For me this is all about health.  Our society is so saturated with disease and health problems that stem from a poor diet and I feel responsible to teach my children that there is a better way, a biblical way.  I see first hand that my family does not have ideal health, we have many minor issues. I hope to feel more energetic and healthy too.  I truly believe that you are what you eat. These changes are here to stay, at least when we are in our home and I have the most control over our diet.

I am having so much fun learning and implementing this into my life.  It just feels so right to me.