Just Hangin Out

Dallin discovered how fun a bucket over a Tonka truck can be.  The kids have spent hours giving each other rides on it.

Just practicing

Journaling

I struggle sometimes. Some days I wonder what in the world I am doing as a parent.  I have the best intentions but I have a hard time when a child is:

• deliberately disobedient all day long
• is so sensitive that any correction is taken as a personal attack
• automatically doesn't want to wear clothes or eat food before even knowing what I have for them
• is in a seemingly permanant demanding/tantrum ridden bad mood
• needs physical redirection for the same things day after day after day
• was just starting to sleep 10 hours at night and then got sick and went back to square one
• enjoys making a sibling cry
• hits or pushes a younger sibling
• lies to me
• wakes up in the middle of the night and has an irrational tantrum, waking up the baby
• refuses to come to family prayer or scripture
• is asked to do something about 10 times before acknowledging that I exist
• floods the bathroom, causing water to drip down the heater vent through the ceiling on the floor below...yet again.
• has to have a threat of a priviledge being taken away to be motivated to do what I wish they would just feel intrinsically motivated to do because it is the right thing
• can't sit still for anything
• makes horrible messes all...day...long
• refuses to make amends
• is way too old to not use their utensils at meals
• says "I hate you" to a family member
• makes any "family time" a loud chaotic miserable thing
• won't stop stripping their clothes off
• leaves the door open and lets a younger sibling follow them outside to play...in their diaper... when it is a cold morning...and a neighbor lady bringing them back...and no one hearing her at the door...and bringing them inside when the house is a wreck...with no parents in ear shot to even know what has happened(we were right there in the next room, I don't know why we didn't hear her)...only to find out about it later from said neighbor

Sorry, just getting a little frustration out for a minute. I am so flawed and imperfect.  I try to be a Christlike example for them (unsuccesfully).  I try to teach them charactor qualities and praise them whenever I see them displaying them.  I try to be patient, loving, gentle, firm.  I try to use the difficult behaviors as teaching moments, pray to be inspired to know their individual needs. I feel so defeated sometimes.  I just don't feel like I am getting through. 

I know I have great kids. There is so much good in them. I love who they are.  I know how special they are and am constantly amazed at how wonderful they are. I am so overjoyed to have my family. I feel like they are why I exist. They are just so darned active, creative, spirited, independant, strong willed, busy, however you want to put it.  Sometimes I just dream of having "well behaved" children. Do those exist? I can see a happy, loving atmosphere where everyone is best friends all the time in my head. We sing Love at Home for FHE every week. I must be doing something wrong. Oh well, just keep swimming.

The other day I chuckled to myself when I logged on to Facebook and saw a status. It was a young twenty something guy saying that he doesn't want to marry a wife that just stays home and that he wants her to actually be a hard worker.  Um, wow. I mean, really? I have no words. Okay maybe a couple...I have like 6 full time jobs dude, how about you?  I think the only people who work harder than parents with many small children are the ones that also homeschool (bowing down to them now).

After buying diapers and wipes at Costco today I got to thinking about how much we spend on this, and how I have a 2 and 3 year old that are both totally ready and capable.  I am just afraid because of past experiences and certain phases they are in right at the moment.  But when Lily pulls out a wipe while I am changing her and wipes herself, goes and sits on the little potty in the bathroom a lot, tells me when she is messy, and asks to be changed, maybe I should just go for it. I have no exuses for Carter anymore like I did when I was just too pregnant and tired.  Time to buckle down and go for it.  Yikes, I am totally scared!  Oh man, we are gonna be rich with all the money we save though.

Dallin gave us a good laugh at dinner yesterday.  He asked, "If there was a hole that when through the whole earth and someone fell all the way through it, would they fall back the other way?" This was right after he told us he had been contemplating for a long time about what creatures that aren't sea animas are blue. This boy is using his melon.

We have been cycling through our second cold of the season.  It usually takes about 2 weeks.  I stayed home from church with the sick ones last week, so this week Peter encouraged me to go with the healthy ones and he stayed home.  It broke my heart to leave Luke.  Babies having a cough really tugs.  I reluctantly nursed him and left.  Wow, it was amazing!  I only had the three older ones and I actually got to stay and listen to all of the meetings.  I even got to get up and bear my testimony.  I got to take notes and soak up the scriptures in sunday school, I got to sit and ponder during relief society, I even got to briefly visit in between with friends.  It was amazing.  I loved feeling the spirit so strongly and came home refreshed.

I am having Christmas shopping blues.  I don't think we have gone over the top with any individual, but when you add up all the gifts for 5 kids (Luke won't notice that Santa left him out right?) it feels so over-indulgent at the amount of stuff getting tucked away in our secret hiding place.  Luckily I am pretty much done, our accounts have been dented enough.  On one hand, as a parent it is so fun to get the chance to make their little dreams come true, I get excited thinking about their faces on Christmas morning. But it feels so gluttonous on the other hand.  It is very conflicting. That feeling is magnified when you are buying for many people.  It leaves a very empty feeling inside that reminds me that things to not equal happiness.  I told Peter I don't want anything this year.  I can't bear the idea of more when I already have so much.  Giving to the kids is more than enough for me.

Peter and I planned out our daily advent activities for next month yesterday. I am excited for this fun, busy time.  So many traditions, so much time together, so much memory making.  I love December. I wish I could just video every moment to watch over and over.

Thankful

Some things that we have seen on our gratitude tree leaves (there are many more now): Family, Luke, Lily, Carter, Tanner, Dallin, Mommy,Daddy, Eden, Book of Mormon, Jesus, Angry Birds, Buzz and Woody, the Thankful Tree, Mrs. Gerig, Homework, Blanky, Milk(on behalf of Luke),  Big Family, etc.

Journaling

I am a bit obsessed with aprons lately. I have this mental thing that when I put my apron on, I go into work/super mom mode. It's kinda like puting on a work uniform or something. I love it and feel so June Cleaverish when I have it on. My clothes stay a lot cleaner too! Imagine my excitment when I received the promise of a handmade apron at our Relief Society service swap the other day. Perfect!

I am finding that getting into a good schedule is impossible. Knowing this, I sat down and wrote down my "Perfect Day" trying to keep it realistic. Every day is different for us so I could never do this consistently with errands, extra curriculars, church meetings, school schedule changes, scouts, etc. But I put everything in there that I feel is really important since I have really had to prioritize my time. I am responsible for a lot of people and I want to give them all what they need. So here's my first draft as I am sure I will change things as I give it a try:
5:00 am Exercise (this has yet to happen because I am up with Luke in the night still and he almost always needs to eat around this time)
6:00 pray, get dressed, brush teeth
6:15 Help kids do morning schedules
6:30 Breakfast, make green smoothie, Family scripture(we read the illustrated church scripture stories and a story from the Friend Magazine. Got that great idea from my SIL Michelle)
7:00 Family Prayer, Peter leaves, Clean up breakfast, dress the younger ones
7:30 School kids leave, quick shower
8:00 Feed Luke, Personal scriptures
8:30 REST (by this time, I am feeling sleep deprived and like I have done a full day of work)
10:00 Tidy house/laundry load
10:30 Tanner comes home, Homework/reading lesson
11:00 Lily and Carter practice sitting and reading
11:30 Lunch, Clean up Lunch
12:00 Lily Nap, Feed Luke, Blog stuff
12:30 House project (I am trying to get organized after much pregnancy neglect)
2:00 Dallin and Eden home, homework, afternoon schedules
3:30 Dinner prep/house pick up
4:00 Feed Luke, Kids free time
4:30 Maintain the afternoon chaos, house project
5:30 Dinner
6:00 Dinner clean up, family time, family scriptures(out of the actual scriptures), family prayer
6:45 Night time schedules
7:00 Kids bed/ tidy house
8:00 Hang out with Peter/Feed Luke/Luke bed
9:00 Plan/Read
10:00 Sleep

I don't know why I get asked all the time how I do it. I DON'T! Even if I could keep up with all of this, I would still not do it all. This really opened my eyes to how valuable my time is though because I really don't see a lot of extra time in here. No time for Facebook, Pinterest, or TV shows for me. I don't know how I even have time to use the bathroom(I usually have visitors then too.) Somehow we also have to add in:

Church
Callings
Family get togethers
Family councils
FHE
Grocery shopping
Errands
Chess club
Kid one on one dates
Volunteering at school
Scouts
Art lessons
Internet business
Blogging
Photos/videos
Dance
PTC (yeah, we try a little)
Date night
Library
Family Outings
Home Improvement
Temple
PPIs with kids
Weekly planning
3 stinky diaper bums
All those millions of little things that keep life interesting

This was such an eye opener because I didn't think we really had a lot going on! I guess that's why I am blogging at midnight. I am not overwhelmed, but a little more determined to stay focused. I can do this and when I don't, I will just live with that.

Short Stories

We had family photos taken by the wonderful Jen Korth again this year. Check her out if you live in Utah and need some pictures taken. 

Here are a few of the shots we got, along with some short stories for your entertainment:


Eden: Officially Lily's favorite person in the world.  She always walks around calling her "Eenen!" She goes to her big sister when she needs help, is hurt, or just to get a hug. If Lily wakes up grouchy from a nap, Eden is the only person she will go to and calm down for.  Lily just started crawling out of her crib the other night and when I went up to check on the kids before going to bed, I found Lily sleeping in Eden's bed all curled up next to her.  Apparently she did this after Eden was asleep because when I asked Eden about it, she had no idea that Lily had come in.

The other night Peter was helping Eden with her homework.  These two have quite a teasing relationship.  Peter was telling her how to spell a word and when he looked at her paper she had written "Poopoo" instead (she spelled it "popo").  She thought she was hilarious and Peter gave her just the reaction she was hoping for by pretending to be surprised and grossed out. 

Tanner is a bit of a space cadet.  I hope that doesn't sound too bad. He is a really smart kid, but is so happy go lucky that he isn't always paying attention.  After chess club one morning a teacher asked Peter if he was Tanner's dad.  Peter said yes and she told him how every single morning Tanner walks into school and forgets where his classroom is.  She has to direct him into the right room!  He just happily walks into the wrong classroom without paying attention.  He also gets really confused about day and night since it is dark in the morning.  Some days at bed time, he asks if it is day or night.  Today he asked me why some days they go to school at night (because it is still dark out when they get up).  In the summer he couldn't understand that bedtime was night time even though it was still light out.   He has a shiner in the pictures because he colided with his cousin Max at a family party.  It doesn't look too bad here but it really looked bad for several days.  The school counciler even interviewed him and then called me to make sure the story matched up. 
This baby loves to nurse!  It is his happy place.  I have pumped and fed him a bottle a few times and even though he takes the bottle just fine, when it is gone he gets really upset because he didn't have that methodic half hour of relaxed laid back drinking and cuddle time.  I don't think I could stop nursing even if I wanted with this one.  He is such a slow eater, but I am hoping he will get a little faster as he gets bigger.  I have never been one to nurse my babies to sleep, but at the end of the day, he is very insistent and won't settle in until he has nursed his way into dreamland. 


Quite the chatter box here.  She has a really big vocabulary thanks to all her older siblings.  I have to keep the bathroom locked because it is her favorite place to get in trouble play.  The other day, it was left unlocked and she went in to create some havoc.  Somehow the knob on the sink was loose and she got it off.  She brought it to me and exclaimed "What the heck?"  She is the funniest little thing.  She pronounces everyone's names as follows: Danin, Eenen, Tanner, Carter, and Yuke. She has a total obsession with shoes and for some reason, calls them Gwok Gwoks.  Now we all call them Gwok Gwoks.  We aren't sure where that came from but we think it could possible stem from the word Crocs or Walk. Who knows.
She also loves to make faces and if any type of music can be heard, you will surely see her dancing.
My super guy.  I remembered a hilarious story from last summer about Dallin.  We had gone to the beach for the day and had a very long, fun and exhausting day.  Dallin had gotten a little bit wet from the water and we did not bring a change of clothes for him.  We sleepily drove home in the dark and everyone fell asleep but Dallin who was being very chatty to Peter and I and we were really enjoying passing the time with his conversation.  Suddenly, Dallin said, "Why are my pants wet?"  It had been a couple of hours since we were at the beach and he forgot that he had gotten wet there.  We reminded him that it was from playing at the beach.  Then he said, as if to himself "Oh good, I am glad I didn't wet my pants."  Oh man, Peter and I just about died from laughter.

Carter's signature face.  He does this alot.  He really just has a lot of expression in his face all the time.  So I can't get him and Lily to stop stripping all the time.  It is driving me batty.  Today they were jumping on the trampoline and sure enough when I checked on them they were naked for the tenth time today.  I went out and put their clothes back on and told them if they stripped again they would have to come inside.  As I walked back inside Carter was starting to take his shirt off and quickly stopped when he saw that I had turned around.  He said, "Go inside Mommy."  I knew this meant he was just waiting to be naked again.  Sure enough, as soon as I went inside they both ripped off their pants.  I ran back outside and made them get off the trampoline and come inside.  Out of desperation, I said "Fine Carter, I guess you just don't get to have your pants anymore." and then put them up in the closet.  This is where all forbidden items go and so he begged me for his pants back.  I told him, "Nope, you will just have to go without."  I moved on and forgot about the pants and then about an hour later, Carter said "Can I have my pants back please?"  I found my parenting tactic funny and laughed as I retrieved them for him.  You know, sometimes when you have tried everything you can think of you will do anything to get through. So yeah, I confiscated my kid's clothing today.

Good thing he is so cute.

I love the pictures but have a hard time getting past my giant baby feeders.  If you are my dad, I am sorry you had to read that. And they all lived happily ever after. The End.

Journaling

Life is so F-U-L-L! And by that I mean crazy busy.  I have finally sort of come out of the pregnancy/new baby phase and now that I have a little more energy, I realize that keeping up with our household and sixlets is a ton of work when you try to stay on top of things(as opposed to just letting a lot go and trying not to think about it).  There is not much down time to crash for a few minutes on the couch.  I guess I could count nursing as down time since I feel like I am spending half my life doing that, but that is a lot of work for me so it doesn't quite have the same effect.

 Lately I am trying really hard to just enjoy all the service to my family.  There are some things that I just don't enjoy doing as a house wife, but then I remember that if I keep it together, the family functions so much better.   Motherhood is a sacred calling which I must fulfill the best that I can even when I am wrist deep in poopy or knee deep in laundry.  Hopefully not at the same time though!

Some days I don't think about what I would like to be doing and just work and nurture and work and work and work all day and feel so fulfilled.  I can even enjoy cleaning when it is all service minded.  I wish I felt that way every day.  But there is a part of me that tries to escape mentally some days because it is all too much.  I hate those days.  I don't feel fulfilled at all on those even though I am trying to feel better.  I love my life, but it takes so much focus with our busy house to patiently meet every one's needs.  There are more teachable moments in the day than I can keep up with.  I guess I have some growing to do to fill these ginormous shoes. Doing a lot of soul searching lately. I admire women who have double digit amounts of children.  I don't know how they do it as I can't even keep up with 6.

I am so grateful for my family and friends lately.  They are there for me when I need to talk, which is a lot.  It helps so much to talk to someone who has things in common in life.  I have realized how much that means to me.  I don't know what I would do without my support system. 
 
I realized that we do not have a fun Thanksgiving tradition at our house so yesterday we decided to make a gratitude tree.  The cool part is that we made it without costing anything.  We have a huge front window in our living room so we dug out some brown crayola paint from the craft stuff and painted a big tree with lots of branches on it.  Then we collected some pretty leaves from outside.  At family prayer we each wrote with marker something we were grateful for on the leaves and taped them on the tree, as we will do each day until Thanksgiving.  I know there are probably some way more cute ways to do this out there, but this was quick, easy and free.  Eden especially loved this idea and was so excited when I told her what we were doing that she gave me a big hug and a kiss. She loves crafty stuff and also holiday fun so this was just perfect.   We all helped paint so the kids really felt like it was their own and had a great time.  I loved how Dallin and Eden both immediately said they were grateful for their family without hesitation.  I am so glad that that is what they are most grateful for in life.  I must say, I agree. 

Halloween

Halloween is so full of festivities.  This gives way for lots of chances to dress up!  On Friday Peter took the big kids to the school carnival and they had fun playing games and jumping in the bounce house. On Saturday we went to the Chile cook off at the church.   They FILLED their buckets at the candy parade, won cupcakes at the cake walk, colored magnets, and fished for prizes.  We had a great time.  When we got home, we let the kids go all out on their loot and they stayed up in their room quietly eating, sharing and comparing for a long time until they passed out.  Peter and I enjoyed the night off from the bed time battles (hopefully it isn't going to cost us in cavities).  I want to add that Lily was a cute little Dorothy from Wizard of Oz at that party, ruby slippers and all.  The monkey was a bit warmer for going out trick or treating.

After a day of a steady candy diet we celebrated Halloween with some trick or treating to get a refill.  The kids enjoyed seeing Uncle Jimmy's decor and we hit up his neighborhood for a while with my little sis and her kids.  Carter and his cousin Max were hilarious.  They were fascinated with all the Halloween decor and we would have to wait for a while if there was anything particularly interesting to them.  Eden and Claire held hands and skipped along their merry way the whole time. 

After we got home the dads and big kids went out again in our neighborhood just to have one last Halloween hoorah.  Oh my, let me just tell you that 5 buckets of candy two times in a row makes for sugar overload and candy wrappers everywhere!  I was so happy when it was over with and we could just eat something healthy again. Good times!

Morning Cuddles

Our kids love our bed!  There is rarely a time that one is not in it, whether it is a scary dream, morning sleepies, or my favorite-Saturday morning laziness. 

Baby Bum Stretches

I just love how new babies stretch when they wake up.  The way they arch their back and stick their bum out is just the sweetest.  

So full. This baby is getting chubbier by the day. 

Pumpkins '11

Carving this year was a blast.  The kids were so into it.  Dallin carved his all by himself!  He was very proud and did a great job. 

They all had big ideas about what they wanted, so we did our best to get creative with it. 









Sponge Bob.  It matched her costume for Halloween.

Of course!  This is Tanner making his "Spiderman Eyes".  He does it very well.

And our little Iron Man.

Luke represented.
Tada! I was having a terrible migraine and so getting a clear picture with kids running around was just not happening.  I meant to get a better one after they went to bed, but couldn't think straight and forgot. We even forgot to blow out the candles and they were all used up by morning!


Although this tradition is not original, it is one of my favorite halloween past times.  This was my favorite year ever, I loved how they all turned out and how much fun we had together making them.

Pumpkin Patch '11

We went to the same pumpkin patch that we went to last year again.  The kids love the chance to get to ride a boat and a train on the same outing.

Our 6 pack (Luke is in the blanket).

Looking at the mean old shark.



I love how my kids hold hands when they walk places without even thinking about it.  I wish that could last forever. 


I was loving watching Lily explore and took many pictures of her cuteness.












The big kids helped the little kids search and find their pumpkins.  I love that we are getting into this phase of life.  We need all the extra hands we can get.

Dallin picked out a big one this year.





The hay maze. 










Lily was only interested in waving at the boats instead of getting measured.



Animals.  See, I told you I was all about Lily that day.  She was just so cute with her curls and dress! Can you blame me?




This was actually the end of a fun day.  In the morning we had our family pictures taken and then we went out to breakfast at a great little diner in Forest Grove.  That was the first time as a family of 8.  It was quite a treat and we stuffed ourselves with huge waffles with strawberries and whip cream, pancakes, eggs, bacon.  I must say, I love all these little ones, but look forward to a day when we can sit down at a resteraunt and have everyone stay in their chair the whole time and behave.  But they did really good considering their ages.  Stay tuned for pumpkin carving...