I am excited about a couple of new things we have been trying with our children.
A few weeks ago I heard a couple talking on BYU TV about raising children in the gospel. There was one thing that Peter and I particularly liked that we decided to try. They said that as they raised their family, every fast Sunday evening they would have their own family testimony meeting. Our fast Sunday was this last Sunday because of conference. So before bed we had a little lesson and taught the children what fasting was and what a testimony was. They got it, but I will probably focus our FHE's on these concepts for the rest of the month as well. Then we all took turns sharing our own testimonies. Some needed help, some needed moral support with a parent next to them and Some did fine on the first try. What a wonderful experience! Many benefits: practicing reverence and respect, learning to share testimony, kids hearing what their parents believe, feeling the spirit. It was a sweet experience that I look forward to repeating each month.
Something we have been struggling with lately is fighting. There has been way too much hitting, taking toys, pushing, etc. I usually either make the child apologize, or give them a time out Supernanny style. After really thinking about it and reading about discipline on some blogs and parenting books, I decided to refine my approach and it has been very helpful.
When a child offends another child there are 3 or 4 things that happen. If they take a toy from someone and can't work it out, then I come in to intervene and it goes something like this:
First they must give they toy back and I remind them that "We don't take toys." Then I request for them to 1. Apologize 2. Tell them that they won't do it anymore(repentance). I think the second part is really important. Then, with the other child, they must quickly forgive and I prompt them to say "It's okay" (forgiveness). Usually this totally fizzles the argument, but if the offended child is still crying or upset I encourage hugs and kisses which helps too. Because hitting has been a particular problem with a couple of my kids they immediately have to serve a time out before they follow the repentance process. I think that this approach is teaching them character and Christ-like qualities that will be useful their whole lives. It has brought a noticeable amount of peace to our home as well.
After doing this for a while the children have started doing the process on their own. When I hear something going on, I first listen to see if they will be able to work it out. This is what I heard the other night with Dallin and Eden:
(Eden threw a toy and it hit Dallin on the head)
Dallin: Ouch! (starts crying, the really hurt cry)
Eden: Oh, I am sorry, I am so sorry Dallin.
Dallin: It's okay (still crying)
Eden: I said sorry.
Dallin: I know but it still hurts.
Eden: Mommy, I accidentally hit Dallin with a toy, and he said it was okay but he is still crying.
Mommy: Well, maybe you could have him show you his owie and kiss it better.
Eden: Okay. (She has Dallin show her and he points to his head, which she kisses.)
Dallin: (Stops crying)
All is well and everyone is happy. I think it feels just as good to forgive as to be forgiven and that is the special part.