A Budding Testimony

Dallin's spiritual maturity has really shown since his baptism.  He takes the gospel very seriously and loves to learn from the scriptures.   This morning before church, he was watching a lot of the illustrated scripture stories on lds.org and learning about everything from Joseph Smith and the Gold Plates to Moses.  I love how he just has the drive to do that without any encouragement from us.  It has been really beneficial for our family to only watch church movies and use the church website on Sundays.  The kids seem to be more drawn to the church materials that way so that helps.

I think that is what got the spirit going in his little heart.  When we got to church, we only had about 5 minutes before it started so Peter dropped Dallin and I off at the door to go save a bench for the family.  We sat down together and I could tell that Dallin was feeling extra reverent.  Then he leaned over to me and said, "Mom, I KNOW that the church is true."   followed by, "If there were 5 million bad guys trying to get me to do bad things, I wouldn't do them."  I thanked him for sharing his testimony with me, and told him that because it was fast Sunday, there would be an opportunity for people to go up to the podium to share their testimonies.  I told him that if the spirit made him feel it in his heart to go up and share, he could.  During the songs, Dallin followed along with the words and started singing with gusto, which he has only just started doing the last couple of weeks.  It makes me smile to hear him sing the Hymns. 

During the meeting I was out with Lily most of the time, but Dallin whispered to Peter that he wanted to write a song.  Peter got paper out and dictated for Dallin and what came out was a very mature little page long testimony of Jesus and the gospel.  Peter told Dallin that if he wanted to get up and share his testimony, he would go with him.  Dallin decided to go for it.

So they went up and sat in the stand to wait their turn.  Dallin started to cry a little bit and told Peter he didn't know why he was crying because he wasn't sad.  Then he said his heart was beeping (beating) really fast.  Peter told him that it was because he was feeling the spirit and because he was nervous.

When it was his turn, Dallin very reverently stood at the microphone and said very simply that he knows the church is true and that he was so glad that he got to be baptized and closed with that.  It was a perfect little testimony from his heart. 

I wish so much that I could have heard him instead of dealing with an hour long tantrum, although Peter did a good job in relaying it to me afterward.  I got choked up just hearing about it.  I am so proud of this little man and who he has become.  He will be a great spiritual leader for his siblings and to those around him.  He is a very special little boy.  As his mother, it is an amazing feeling to watch his spirituality grow. Joy would be the best way to describe it.

Conference

What a great General Conference weekend (When the leaders of the church give semi-annual televised talks).  I was left feeling humbled, inspired and feeling much work to do. 

With so many talks on marriage, I realized something more than ever.  After being married for 10 years, I am still so very immature.  Hence the humbling part.  Having children has given me unbelievable growth, I can see that, but I could be so much more than what I am. I am in my infancy of where I hope to some day be.  I want to shake off this selfishness that is part of me and grow into something more.  Someone who tirelessly serves her family and friends while not being concerned with herself.  I believe there are so many blessings in store for living a life of selflessness.  More joy, meaning, fulfillment, purpose.  And I especially want to use my life as a living example to my children.

I can't wait to go back and review all that was given, it was way more than I could take in at once. So much inspiration.  I especially loved the topics on personal revelation, trials, marriage, and parenting. Everything was so in sync, so amazing.  These men and women are such spiritual giants.  It is so inspiring. 

The kids were in and out, but overall I think they did pretty well.  During one of the sessions, we did a project that kept them in the room with their hands busy.  That helped a lot.  We laminated and cut out all of our Accountable Kids cards.  They were really into it. We didn't have any conference packets this time so we just let them color in color books the rest of the time.  That kept them around a little more.  Sometimes it was too noisy to hear much, and other times, they lost interest and left to go play.  I think they are getting it more each time we have conference though.  One speaker Dallin recognized all on his own which was fun. It was Dallin H. Oaks of course! 

Comfort

The other night was not so fun, but in a way it was.  All the kids sleep through the night 9 times out of ten, so it is a little hard when one has a drawn out problem in the night, let alone two.  After being in a deep sleep for a while, I slowly came back to consciousness to the cries of a little baby girl.  I pulled myself out of bed and sleepily walked upstairs to her crib.  She grabbed onto me like a vice grip, so I just held her and comforted her for a while.  I thought she either had a bad dream or had a tummy ache maybe. 

After a few minutes trying to get her to go back to bed, I gave up and sleepily walked back down to my room.  I sat and rocked her for a a few more minutes, then got so tired that I decided to lay down.  Lily is the kind of baby that can't sleep anywhere but her crib, so I anticipated her crawling all over us for a while and then taking her back to her crib to try again.  Instead, she continued to take comfort in being held.  She would only let me hold her one way, directly on my chest with her head right on my heart with her knees all tucked in on top of me.  I was no longer too tired to enjoy the closeness and bonding of the moment.  What a sweet baby.  She went to sleep pretty quickly, but I just laid there for a while, grateful for what a precious little gift she is. 

Just as I started to drift back into sleep, Carter began to cry.  I asked Peter for mercy, having just been through over an hour with Lily so he went up to help Carter.  I listened as Carter continued to cry.  After a few more minutes and asking for mommy, Peter brought him down to me.  I passed a sleeping Lily off to Peter and took Carter in my arms with the same routine.  I rocked him. He was a bit harder to comfort at first, but then calmed down.  I laid back down to see if he was going to let me or not and sure enough, I got the same fussy reaction.  He only wanted to be directly on my chest with his head on my heart. 

Sometimes being a mom means giving up sleep, but it also means being needed and a being great source of comfort for your children.  I like being the greatest comfort to them.  They can be calmed simply by nurturing them with motherly love.  It is fulfilling to be that for comfort.  Sort of like I am fulfilling my purpose in life. 

This got me thinking about my parents.  Sometimes, even as an adult, I just need my mom or my dad depending on what the need is.  Then I thought about my GREATEST source of comfort, my Heavenly Father.  When I am down and feeling lost, or tired, or weary, He WANTS me to come to Him.  He will give me rest, just like I do for my children.  I just need to use this comfort.  Sometimes I forget, but I don't want to forget.  It is real and I need a lot of it.  I am grateful that God loves his children and wants them to come to him. 

The Hand of God in My Life

This is a neat video.  I helped me remember how important it is to write things down.  I find this to be so true with the few things I do write.


Speaking of that, I had a neat experience a couple of weeks ago.  I was feeling pretty discouraged as a mother.  It seemed that my kids were outnumbering me, my patience was gone and none of them would listen to me.  It was a Sunday afternoon and Peter was taking us to the Temple for a tour of the grounds.  It was the last day of the summer tours and his parents were the guides.  As we passed over I-5, I thought to myself, "Maybe I should talk to this sister in my Ward.  She is a mother with a few children and seems to do a great job with her family."  I thought maybe she would have some bits of advice for me.  But then I thought, "too bad I didn't talk to her this morning at church.  Now I won't see her for a week."

We pulled into the parking lot and as we were getting the kids out, to my disbelief, guess who also pulls into the parking lot?  The very same person I was just thinking about!  I thought that was weird, but didn't think I would get a chance to talk to her since we were doing a tour.  There were 3 families there including mine so our group was pretty small.  We enjoyed the tour experience with Peter's parents, although we were reigning in kids the whole time, trying to teach them respect and reverence.

Then as the tour ended at the reflection pond everyone kind of dispersed and visited a little bit.  I decided to take my chance to talk to the sister from my ward.  I told her how I was feeling and asked her for advice.  She listened and empathised with me.  I knew she would get it.  Then she said "Well, maybe what you need to hear is that you are doing a good job.  Just keep doing what you are doing." She said a few other comforting things and that was it.  It was nice to talk to someone who really understands.  I was just still amazed that she was there.

Then the next day, I was sitting on the couch feeding Lily, still feeling really overwhelmed when who would knock on my door?  Oh yes, it was her again.  I was a bit embarrassed about the state of my house at the moment, but she quickly put that at ease by describing her own busy house.  She brought me a comfort basket with lots of goodies.  There were General Conference activities for the kids, organic apples and carmel dip, and of course the good chocolate for me.  It was so sweet.  She visited with me for a few minutes and gave some more comfort and hugged me goodbye. 

After she left I felt so loved and comforted. Not just by her, but by the Lord.  "The errand of angels is given to women."
-As Sisters in Zion

This experience makes me realize more than ever that the Lord is aware of me.  I know He loves me and is happy with  my efforts to raise a righteouss family.  He is watching over me and my little family and wants me to know that.

Primary

A few months ago, I got a new calling.  I also got to stay on the RS committee, which I love.  When the bishopric member called me in I went a little numb as he said "We would like to call you to serve as a primary teacher."  I automatically smiled and nodded out of habit.  This was not what I expected, although you never know what to expect when you get called in.  I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach of dread and hopelessness.  I found out I would be teaching the 4 year olds, including my Tanner.

Its not that I don't love primary, its just that I am with kids all day every day and I was really needing those 2 hours of grown up time to get a spiritual boost for the week.  We really struggle with the first hour, so I am almost always out of patience by the time Sacrament meeting is over.  I mean, I know we all struggle with our little ones, but I honestly feel like no one has it harder than me.  I understand that I am not the only one out there, but man, it is rough on our bench.  When I take a noisy kid out, it is a wrestling match to get them to sit on my lap.  I see other kids come out and sit quietly on their parent's lap.  Yeah, I know in reality I am not alone, but it is hard to see when you are struggling yourself. We are a work in progress.

That day when I got home, I cried and was depressed the rest of the day.  I love Tanner, but he is one of the hardest kids in church so I was frankly not at all looking forward to being with him.  So bad I know.  The next week, I was set apart.  I came home and cried again.  I prayed to have peace and know that if I would do what the Lord asked, I would be blessed with a good growing experience.  I had to have faith in that in order to do this. 

The next week I started the new calling. Tanner had started primary a few months before, but had a rough time adjusting.  He was finally getting the swing of it and then when I came in and sat by him, it was a huge step back.  He was whining, talking to me, climbing on me, not participating, and being really disruptive.  to do this after the most intense hour of my week was going to take superhuman patience.  In the first few weeks, I was asked twice if I would like to be switched to another class.   I knew that Tanner would eventually adjust and resorted to some techniques that we used with Dallin.  That helped and Tanner adjusted to me a little more. 

I get to co-teach for the 3rd hour, so I only teach every other week.  Doing this reminded me of how much I love to teach little kids.  I really really love it.  They are cute and challenging, but it is fun to come up with lots of creative ideas to keep them occupied for an hour and teach them about the gospel.  So after a few weeks, I actually started enjoying the calling.  2nd hour is still rough, but way better and I have bonded with each of the cute little people.

As far as a growing experience, I have learned that I don't "need" that break after sacrament meeting like I did before.   I am fine, just take a deep breath and go.  Its like when I have another baby, you just do what you need to do and you become stronger and adjust to it.  Then it doesn't seem as hard anymore.  Writing about it makes me see how dramatic I was being. I don't feel that way anymore.

Being with Tanner and getting to be his teacher has been fun for him, which is the biggest blessing.  He feels special that he is the only one that gets to have Mommy for a teacher.  I do like to be with the guy and I know some day I will be so glad that I chose to do this while he was so little.

But the biggest payoff came last night out of the blue.  We were hanging out in the basement and all of the sudden Tanner said, "Mom, I really love to go to church so that you can teach me about Jesus."   Oh man, why do I complain when things are hard?  GOOD things come from things that are hard.  Tears of joy this time.

Love unexpressed

"Love Unexpressed is Love Unknown."

I like this quote and it reminded me of  this Education Week talk called "The Functional Family." . In it, James Macarthur explains that one basic human need is to feel significant and important and how we can show our children that they are important to us.  This whole talk is full of great parenting advice and gives 10 qualities of a functional family, but if you start around 19 minutes you can hear him explain that we must tell our children these things regularly and that you cannot do it too often.  I first listened to this talk a couple of years ago and I have really come to enjoy expressing how important my children are to me.   I love watching their face and the visible satisfaction that they get from hearing it.  I try so hard to be a good parent, but often feel like I am falling short in many ways.  I find comfort in knowing that when my children are grown, they will at least know that they are important and loved, without a doubt.

Trust

On answers to prayer:  Sometimes they are subtle and sometimes they are undeniable. 

The last few weeks, Peter and I have been trying to make a decision regarding Dallin's schooling for next year.  Just like always, each time we need to make a decision for his future it is very painfully difficult.  I want what is best for him, but since I can't see the future, I feel like making big decisions is nearly impossible.  Yet they must be made.  And like I always tell myself, if I don't stand up and do it, no one will.  I am his advocate, its my responsibility and so I am strengthened. 

Yesterday was our meeting day at the school and Peter and I had prayerfully made a decision, but I was so full of doubts, which would not be good for standing up for Dallin.  All morning I had been worrying about these doubts and praying about it.  Then someones name came into my head.  It was like something inside me saying "You need to talk to this person."  This person is a friend from our ward who has 4 teenage children, but I had never talked to her about this situation and had no idea why in the world it would be helpful.  So, I just tried to put it out of my mind.  I couldn't seem to stop thinking about it though. 

Peter had stayed home from work for a couple of hours while we tried to work through our decision.  Just before he left we knelt together in prayer and pleaded with the Lord to know without a doubt that this was a good decision and if it was not, that we would both have a stupor of thought about it.  After that we both felt a little better and as Peter was about to leave, I told him that I really had this feeling that I need to talk to this lady in our ward.  He said, "Well, we made our decision so I think we are good."  I agreed. 

So this is where my testimony of Divine intervention grows.  Not even 30 minutes later, this person called ME!  When I answered the phone and she said "Hi Pricilla, this is _______."  It almost didn't seem real.  I have heard stories like this lots of times, but never had it happen in my life.  She was calling about a baby shower for a girl that we know, but I was like, "Um, are your really calling me right now?"  She was confused and I told her she had been on my mind all morning.  I said, "I think I need to talk to you."  She said she had been wanting to call me all week, but lost my number and had just found it this morning. 

Because of the feelings I was having, I knew that whatever she had to say, I was to listen.  I asked her a little bit about her past experience with her kids and without pause, like she didn't even have to think about her answer, told me about a decision from her past that related to what we were working on with Dallin.  It totally confirmed our decision.  My doubts were gone, and besides all the shaking from what just happened, I was at total peace.  Then I was able to go to our meeting with complete confidence, and was not shaken a bit by those who tried to sway the decision.

It sure seems like every step is guided with our precious little boy.  Thinking back through all the times that things have happened to help us get Dallin where he needs to be leaves me humbled and in awe...
 






I know Heavenly Father has all the answers and Peter and I are just the instruments that those answers need to come through.  It is a great responsibility as it is for every parent of every child.   I believe that every person who has come into Dallin's life was meant to be there and that the amazing timing and chain of events that we have seen time after time have always, in hindsight, been miracles to me.  I will say that I have no idea how this decision will affect the rest of his life, but I trust in the Lord, because He does know.

Life Lessons

I am a worrier. The last few weeks have been more stressful, overwhelming and difficult than I can remember. We have had so much to deal with all at once. It is a very hard to feel that your life is out of control and that you have more than you can handle. It is embarrassing to ask for or accept help although it has been much needed and appreciated. I am much more comfortable on the giving end, but lately I can't even seem to fake that I have it all together. I have been humbled to say the least. Having a new baby and trying to recover is a lot, but add to that an infection, an endless list of things to do before we move with everything in the urgent category, being audited, lots of bad news from the dentist, a stinky kid(see last post), and car repairs to name a few things on my mind. Just add a lack of good sleep and it gets overwhelming very easily.

However, every time I sit and think about our stresses, I find myself being overcome with an enormous amount of gratitude! When I pray, it is prayers of thanks instead of despair. There is nothing in my life that has no solution. Moving home is something we have wanted to do all along, even though the timing was a surprise. We have a home to move to. We have cars that work and many material comforts. We have a happy, healthy family, and as my Grandmother said, there is nothing in the world that is bad when you have a baby to hold. We have accomplished everything we wanted to from being here. We have so many friends and family who love us and support us and have shown so much concern for us. Our marriage is strong and we work together through these kinds of things as one. There is nothing that affects us in an eternal nature. We have our faith that our Heavenly Father loves and knows us and will take care of us. Each time I am lost in my thoughts I always find that I have absolutely nothing to feel sorry for myself about, but quite the opposite.

Every time I look into one of the kids faces I feel comfort. They are so happy to be alive. They love the most simple things and show such animated, genuine excitement. They don't notice or care if things seem crazy around here, if the house is not decorated for Christmas, or if there was no turkey on Thanksgiving. They are so oblivious it is a relief. They only care about being in a safe, loving family and that is good enough. When I see them, I feel a bit of that rub off on me. They are happy and that melts my stress away. I know that soon things will calm down, we just need to get through the rest of this month.

I find myself thinking about the holidays and the more I do the more I realize that all I want for Christmas is everything that I already have. I learn a lot about myself during these times and I am even grateful for that.

Testimonies and Love at Home

I am excited about a couple of new things we have been trying with our children.

A few weeks ago I heard a couple talking on BYU TV about raising children in the gospel. There was one thing that Peter and I particularly liked that we decided to try. They said that as they raised their family, every fast Sunday evening they would have their own family testimony meeting. Our fast Sunday was this last Sunday because of conference. So before bed we had a little lesson and taught the children what fasting was and what a testimony was. They got it, but I will probably focus our FHE's on these concepts for the rest of the month as well. Then we all took turns sharing our own testimonies. Some needed help, some needed moral support with a parent next to them and Some did fine on the first try. What a wonderful experience! Many benefits: practicing reverence and respect, learning to share testimony, kids hearing what their parents believe, feeling the spirit. It was a sweet experience that I look forward to repeating each month.

Something we have been struggling with lately is fighting. There has been way too much hitting, taking toys, pushing, etc. I usually either make the child apologize, or give them a time out Supernanny style. After really thinking about it and reading about discipline on some blogs and parenting books, I decided to refine my approach and it has been very helpful.

When a child offends another child there are 3 or 4 things that happen. If they take a toy from someone and can't work it out, then I come in to intervene and it goes something like this:

First they must give they toy back and I remind them that "We don't take toys." Then I request for them to 1. Apologize 2. Tell them that they won't do it anymore(repentance). I think the second part is really important. Then, with the other child, they must quickly forgive and I prompt them to say "It's okay" (forgiveness). Usually this totally fizzles the argument, but if the offended child is still crying or upset I encourage hugs and kisses which helps too. Because hitting has been a particular problem with a couple of my kids they immediately have to serve a time out before they follow the repentance process. I think that this approach is teaching them character and Christ-like qualities that will be useful their whole lives. It has brought a noticeable amount of peace to our home as well.

After doing this for a while the children have started doing the process on their own. When I hear something going on, I first listen to see if they will be able to work it out. This is what I heard the other night with Dallin and Eden:

(Eden threw a toy and it hit Dallin on the head)
Dallin: Ouch! (starts crying, the really hurt cry)
Eden: Oh, I am sorry, I am so sorry Dallin.
Dallin: It's okay (still crying)
Eden: I said sorry.
Dallin: I know but it still hurts.
Eden: Mommy, I accidentally hit Dallin with a toy, and he said it was okay but he is still crying.
Mommy: Well, maybe you could have him show you his owie and kiss it better.
Eden: Okay. (She has Dallin show her and he points to his head, which she kisses.)
Dallin: (Stops crying)

All is well and everyone is happy. I think it feels just as good to forgive as to be forgiven and that is the special part.

Daily Gem

This was in my email Daily Gem today. I thought this was very powerful, definitely my new favorite quote:

“Brethren and sisters, material possessions and honors of the world do not endure. But your union as wife, husband, and family can. The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever. No sacrifice is too great to have the blessings of an eternal marriage. To qualify, one needs only to deny oneself of ungodliness and honor the ordinances of the temple. By making and keeping sacred temple covenants, we evidence our love for God, for our companion, and our real regard for our posterity—even those yet unborn. Our family is the focus of our greatest work and joy in this life; so will it be throughout all eternity, when we can ‘inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities … powers, dominions … exaltation and glory’ (D&C 132:19).”
Russell M. Nelson, “Set in Order Thy House,” Liahona, Jan. 2002, 82

The Plan

For FHE this week we learned about the plan of Salvation. This was one of my favorite lessons ever. The kids were so interested. They kind of knew parts of it, but it was so neat to teach them what we believe. Dallin asked lots of questions and has thoroughly studied this visual aid over the last few days. I love being a mommy teacher and sharing my testimony with them.

My Friend Amy's Conversion Story

Ok, here is my story for inquiring minds:I took the missionary discussions when I was 16. I met my best friend Pricilla when I was 12, in junior high. Over the years, I stayed close to Cilla and I went to lots of church activities with her, especially when she turned 14 and we started going to church dances. I have memories of staying up late having religious discussions. Cilla would tell me all about church beliefs, book of mormon stories, etc. When I was 16 Cilla asked if I was interested in taking discussions. When I asked my mom she said only if we would have them at our house. Well, after the 2nd discussion my mom made it clear she did not believe it, and no longer wanted me taking the discussions. End of story.

So, went to U of O a couple years later. I was a music major (at least in the begining) and so my second year there, in my small music performance class, there were 8 of us. One of them, the youngest of the class, was Lauren (now Lauren May, hey girl!). There was on particular week where I had been talking to a guy online that went to UofO that wanted to meet me. he was a music major. I definitely didn't want to do this alone. I asked Lauren if she would accompany me, I was rather uncomfortable on my own. She agreed, but also said "Well, I do have a church dance to go to later"...so, I of course said "Oh really? What church" and of course discovered she was LDS. So, she invited me to tag along to the dance with her that night, after my "meeting". That was exciting. I hadn't gone in a long time to one, so I was excited! She went with me, I met this guy, it was overall a wierd uncomfortable situation and she TOTALLY bailed me out by saying "Well, we have to run. I have to get to that dance Amy" So, I went to that church dance with her that night.

The next day I was rather bored, it was a Saturday, and since I had my car there decided I wanted to go home for the rest of the weekend to Portland. So, when I got home that night I called my good friend Robert (Bob Slattery) to see what he was up to that night. He was working at Fry's Electronics at the time as a software rep. He says "Finney! Got a guy I want you meet! His name is Leonard, he is tall, a red head. I think you will like him. Hold on, I will go get him"! So, he puts Leonard on the phone. He and I talk for about 15 minutes, and then Leonard says "I would like to meet you. Can I come pick you up?" SOooo, he picks me up that night after he gets off work. He took me to Shari's for dessert. In his mind he figured "Eh, so I will buy her dessert. That way if it doesn't go well, I am out a few bucks, and there we go" But turns out I was better company than he imagined. Later we called Bob again and invited him to go Cosmic Bowling (I want to go again!). On our way to bowling in a discussion, I discovered Leonard was in fact LDS. Crazy coincidence, right? ;-) So, that date went well, he dropped me off.

The next morning, which would have been Sunday, it just so happens that Pricilla was home. I don't remember if she was living at home at the time, or just home for a break. I can't remember. For the next 30 minutes of the conversation she proceeded to talk me into going to the singles ward with her. I was thinking "Ugh, 3 hours of church, really??" lol. She didn't want to go alone, she didn't really know anybody. So, finally, i give in and agree to go to church with her. This would be at the Westlake branch in Lake Oswego. So, sitting down in sacrament meeting, before the meeting had started, I felt quite an overwhelming peace and assurance. While the sacrament was passed I felt that I had was I considered a vision of sorts. I felt without a doubt that I would be joining the church, and that this is the man I would be marrying. Cilla reminds me that while sitting there I had grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She tells me "I Knew there was something going on when you did that" :-)

The next week after I went back to school happened to be finals week. Leonard called me that Tuesday I believe, and we agreed to a date that weekend when I got home. At that point I had 3 weeks of winter break before heading back. During this time Len and I had several dates, and quickly decided we had become a couple. During those few weeks I made the decision that I wanted to start taking missionary discussions again. So, went back to school in January. During the first month or so, not much happened with missionaries. Then Leonard and I hit a rough patch and we had broken up. This was a hard time in my life, I got quite depressed. I had a hard time being an hour and a half away from friends and family. I was a bit lonely. Then, discussions finally got together. The relief society president at my local singles branch, Julie, and I also become good friends. Her and Lauren came almost every time to my discussions. There were a couple others too, but can't seem to recall. Len even came to Eugene once to partipate in one. I think it was after my first discussion that I was really depressed and uncertain what I wanted to do. In a phone conversation Len had challenged me to a Book of Mormon reading challenge. 30 minutes a night, pray about it to decide for myself it I truly believed it. After the 2nd night, I was SO overcomed with emotion and the spirit that I knew without a doubt what my answer was. So, I agreed to getting baptised. My missionaries were great. I think I knew more than they expected. remember all that time with Cilla in junior high? I remembered a lot about the church. I wanted Pricilla's dad to baptise me, however. Papa Arave. :-) So, I made the date for the baptism set for March 20, during spring break.

During my rough time that winter, I had had a lot of phone conversations with my family. Len and I broke up during the discussions, though we stayed in close contact. I was still unsure if I was truly making the decision for him or or me. So, when we broke up I was even more confused. That is why he gave me the reading challenge, which made the decision for me. My family however still saw it as me joining the church for Leonard. They were against it, and were not supportive whatsoever. The day of my baptism, I asked one last time for my mom and my older sister (who lived with mom) to attend the event. My sister wouldn't because she always stood behind whatever mom said. My mom confronted me and made it very clear, quote her, that I was "ripping out her heart". So, needless to say I showed up to the church a wreck, rather upset.The baptism was wonderful, and I had a lot of friends there to support. I have pictures to share, I should really get them scanned and posted in a blog.

One year later, on the 1 year anniversary of my baptism, after Len and I had gotten back together officially 6 months prior, he proposed to me. We got married 6 months later at his dad's house in Keizer, and we were sealed in the Portland OR temple a year after that, September 18, 2001.Anywho, I think thats the short of it all! Now you know my story.

Isaiah 3-5

These chapters are such a roller coaster. Isaiah seems to go from talking of how evil Israel had become to the wonderful gathering of Israel. I have really tried to understand each of the symbolisms and relate them to what that would have meant in the time of Israel and how that could relate to us now. One of the verses that stood out the most to me was in 5:20

"Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter. "

Boy this really describes our world today. Especially if you think about television and movies and the morals that seem to be so "normal".

Chapter 5 also has one of Isaiah only parables. He gives a great parable of a vineyard that reminds me a lot of Jacobs allegory. There are not many parables in the Old Testament. They are mostly in the New Testament.

I really like studying the chapters and getting as much as I can out of them and then listening to the BYU professors discuss their take on it. It gives me even more insights that I would not have thought of. Like in 5:29. This could easily relate to missionaries of today as the "young lions". I am sure I am only getting a small sampling of the depth of Isaiah, but I am feeling the spirit and learning so much that it is not really as scary of a book than I have always thought.

Isaiah 1-2

I am not exactly sure, but I think it took somewhere between 2 or 3 hours to go through these chapters. Using the student manual and the footnotes has been so educational. I can understand ancient parables that Isaiah uses and how his writings applied to his day and also to us. the margins of my scriptures quickly filled up with notes and meanings. I was also able to chunk sections of scriptures together to help me understand the general meaning or topic.

So one of the most awesome things was in the footnotes regarding Isaiah 2:16. Nephi qoutes this scripture from the brass plates as well, but it has a small phrase that the KJ does not. Not that exiting except the Greek version of the bible has the phrase too, but is missing a phrase that KJ has. The BOM has all three phrases. In other words: The Greek (Septuagint) has "ships of the sea." The Hebrew has "ships of Tarshish." The BOM has both, showing that the brass plates had lost neither phrase. I learned from the Student Manual that scholars may suggest that Joseph Smith had taken the phrase from the Greek verson. The problem with that is that Joseph did not know Greek and there is no evidence that he even had access to the Septuagint when he was translating the BOM. The only conclusion: The BOM is true of course!

Isaiah

I have always found Isaiah to be very intimidating, but intriging. I am beginning a chapter by chapter study along with the student manual so that I can really get it. I am also listening to the BYU Insights to Isaiah series that I found on the website which has about 30 half hour discussions for the whole book. So far I am just trying to learn how to go about it with introductions, etc. I think with the study helps I will learn a lot so I am going to write down the most interesting things here over the next few weeks. I am very exited to learn and especially that we have so much more knowledge and understanding because of the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants and the Temple. I am not giving myself an exact timeline for the 66 chapters, because I want to cross reference and read the study helps as I go. So far, I have learned about how Isaiah was called to be a prophet in the holy of holies at the temple and how he was very humbled.