Life Lessons

I am a worrier. The last few weeks have been more stressful, overwhelming and difficult than I can remember. We have had so much to deal with all at once. It is a very hard to feel that your life is out of control and that you have more than you can handle. It is embarrassing to ask for or accept help although it has been much needed and appreciated. I am much more comfortable on the giving end, but lately I can't even seem to fake that I have it all together. I have been humbled to say the least. Having a new baby and trying to recover is a lot, but add to that an infection, an endless list of things to do before we move with everything in the urgent category, being audited, lots of bad news from the dentist, a stinky kid(see last post), and car repairs to name a few things on my mind. Just add a lack of good sleep and it gets overwhelming very easily.

However, every time I sit and think about our stresses, I find myself being overcome with an enormous amount of gratitude! When I pray, it is prayers of thanks instead of despair. There is nothing in my life that has no solution. Moving home is something we have wanted to do all along, even though the timing was a surprise. We have a home to move to. We have cars that work and many material comforts. We have a happy, healthy family, and as my Grandmother said, there is nothing in the world that is bad when you have a baby to hold. We have accomplished everything we wanted to from being here. We have so many friends and family who love us and support us and have shown so much concern for us. Our marriage is strong and we work together through these kinds of things as one. There is nothing that affects us in an eternal nature. We have our faith that our Heavenly Father loves and knows us and will take care of us. Each time I am lost in my thoughts I always find that I have absolutely nothing to feel sorry for myself about, but quite the opposite.

Every time I look into one of the kids faces I feel comfort. They are so happy to be alive. They love the most simple things and show such animated, genuine excitement. They don't notice or care if things seem crazy around here, if the house is not decorated for Christmas, or if there was no turkey on Thanksgiving. They are so oblivious it is a relief. They only care about being in a safe, loving family and that is good enough. When I see them, I feel a bit of that rub off on me. They are happy and that melts my stress away. I know that soon things will calm down, we just need to get through the rest of this month.

I find myself thinking about the holidays and the more I do the more I realize that all I want for Christmas is everything that I already have. I learn a lot about myself during these times and I am even grateful for that.