On Parenting

Lately I have been really trying to let my kids reap the natural consequences of their actions.  It is HARD!  Sometimes it just happens and the lesson is learned and other times, I have to come up with the consequence.  It can be rough to watch your precious little sweetheart cry at a result of their choices, but I know it is easier to learn these lessons now than when they are older.  Anyway, what I really wanted to share was our trick for not shouting out threats that you both know you won't follow through with.  When one of the kids is doing something they shouldn't, sometimes it makes me angry and I can't think as clearly, or I just don't have time to think of what the appropriate natural consequence should be.  So instead of barking out something to get them to choose the right, I calmly warn them that if they do that again, they are going to have a consequence.  That's it.  I don't say what it will be because I don't know yet.  I need time to process and make it a good lesson for them. 

When I first started doing this, they would give me a puzzled look and ask what I meant.  Now they know that it will not be good and that it is all on the choice that they make. That is enough of a warning.  I love not really being the bad guy, but putting it back on them. They usually make the right choice, thank goodness.  If they make the wrong choice, I let them know that they will have a consequence.  If I still haven't come up with one, I tell them I will talk to dad about it and get back to them.  

This is really only for the older 3 kids, not the little ones that need immediate consequences. Also, if there is a need for an immediate consequence like for hurting someone or tantruming, they go straight to their room for a time out still.   No one like to be in isolation, but it does give them time to calm down so it has its purpose.  I definitely mess up as a parent every single day, but this little trick has helped me out a lot lately.