Journal

I have been mostly silent on this blog for a few month for several reasons.  I think the biggest one is that I have been more than a bit overwhelmed with life.  Even when I have time, I just can't get my thoughts together nor have I even wanted to.  Although, now I wish that I had journaled my journey.  Also, life is more busy than ever!  Mostly because of the homeschooling undertaking.

Home schooling was not a decision that I made lightly.  I know that the seed has been in my heart my whole life pretty much, just as having a large family has been.  Realizing this dream was something that took years to have the guts and just the right push to do so.

Homeschooling our whole family as opposed to just one kid like last year is a whole different ball game.  The weight is heavy, I am not going to lie.  That is a lot of ages and stages to worry and think about all the time.  Just the mental stress has just about done me in. And that is not referring to the actual homeschooling we are doing, just the crazy in my head.

For some reason, I thought since we tested the waters last year, that we would get into a great routine within the first few week and spread our wings and fly.  Um. No. There has been a lot of trial and error. We have done a lot of good. This has been an amazing journey so far.  But being a newbie is so much more of a learning curve (ha, get it?) than I thought it would be.  I think because there is so much out there for home schoolers and so many opportunities, it is hard to see clearly, even if I try to focus on the simple.  There is so much to compare to.

On the other hand, I truly love being with my kids all the time.  I love that the world is our classroom.  I love watching them learn and develop and be creative.  It is such a treat.  They are amazing little people!  I love that I am a mom who is not missing out on their development.

It gives me a deeper purpose.  It makes me want to be better.  It makes me feel passion about what I am doing.   It makes me love more.  It stretches me more.

It is good.

One thing that has been hard for me is WHY we are doing this.  There are a million reasons one may choose to home school.  I have read many lists of them and articles about them.  But mostly, they weren't totally resonating with me.  I am not really anti-public school.  I think my kids would be okay there.  We can instill values in our home and our kids can stand strong, just like Peter and I did.  I think there are good people who public school just like there are good people who choose to home school.  There are some great opportunities in public school.  But there are some really wonderful advantages to home schooling.  I can see both sides of it.

I read one woman's blog post series that finally resonated with me.  I finally felt something hit me just right.  I felt my heart saying , yes, Yes, YES the whole time I read it.  I love it when someone finds just the right words that I wasn't able to find, and inspires me.  Just about every point she made is how I feel, or hope to feel.   She is 4 years into it, so I have a ways to go.  If you want to understand why I do home school, read this.  I think there are other reasons for me, and maybe some day I will be able to write it all as well, but for now I will just say, my sentiments exactly.