Dallin's School Update

Over the last month as many of you may already know we have made some major changes with Dallin's education plan. I wanted to write down what has happened for my journaling:

A couple of months ago I began to go into Dallin's autism Kindergarten regularly to observe and help out. I quickly realized that this was not a good situation. When I agreed to put Dallin in the program I was led to believe that he would be going to a different school site that had been around for about 5 years and very successful. As I was signing the IEP they quickly mentioned that that site was full and he would actually be at a new site with the same design. I was very frustrated with this omission because I had made the decision based on the program that I had visited at the other site. I was so pressured to put him in the program that I reluctantly agreed to it and withdrew his registration at the regular neighborhood school. I had prayed and felt like it was the right thing to do so I went with it. So as when I began visiting this new program after about a month I saw that it was a complete disaster. There were 12 autistic children with one teacher and 2 aids. The teacher was a first year teacher and the aids had no training at all. There was so much inappropriate behaviors going on that there was not educational benefit at all and no structure. It was not set up for success at all and the classroom was very bare. I felt that this was more like a daycare situation and that these children had been swept under the rug to save the school district money. It would be a lot more expensive to put the kids in regular classrooms with aids.

I urgently began making phone calls and letting the school district know what was going on. I made it clear that I did not want Dallin to continue there and that he needed a new placement. Over the next week or so I was told that there was a lot of mentors being brought in to help with the program but did not get any response about pulling Dallin out. I continued to make phone calls and was finally referred to a lady that I was to work with, but that was not easy to work things out with. She got back to me after several more days and told me that Dallin's school was full and that all of the 8 overflow schools were full as well. I told her that I felt that this was an emergency situation and that she should keep looking for a spot.

I emailed this woman a follow up a couple of days later to which she expressed that it would be a few weeks and that I had agreed to that. Yeah, I was really mad after that. I had set up a meeting to go and observe at the neighborhood school to make sure of my decision so in the mean time I went to that appointment but was stood up. Before I left I had prayed so earnestly that Heavenly Father would help me to find someone in the district that could really understand this situation and help me. After sitting in the school office for 20 minutes and my appointment not showing, finally the 2 resource ladies came out to greet me. I immediately recognized them from an IEP for Dallin that they had attended when I was trying to mainstream him the first time. I remembered them because they were the only ones I had met in the district that actually seemed to care about what was best for Dallin and not have a hidden agenda for the autism programs or for money.

They asked me what had happened because they thought that I had decided to put Dallin in the program that had been there for 5 years. I told them that I had been deceived about that and that he was in a horrible school setting at the moment. He was picking up on stims from some of the kids and regressing in his behaviors very quickly, not to mention he was getting more behind academically each day. One of the ladies named Lisa offered to escort me to the kindergartens to let me observe. She was so nice and really wanted to help me. I believe that Lisa was an answer to my prayer. By the time I got home from the school she called me and told me that she had talked to the principle and that he had approved a spot for Dallin there. Even though it would overfill the class, because he would have and aid it would change the ratio and would be approved. I believe that there was a reason that the lady that was supposed to meet me at the school did not show up and that the Lord was directly answering my motherly plea to get Dallin in the place that he needed to be by putting Lisa in my path(she believes that too). What a small in significant miracle that I will never forget.

Even with this new change of events, I was still having a difficulty communicating with my district contact. I swear she is not even human, I couldn't even have a conversation with her because she twisted everything up and never answered my questions even though I was always polite to her. So I had just had it with her. That day Dallin came home with a big bite mark shaped bruise on his arm he had gotten through his long sleeved shirt. That was it! I found the contact information for this woman's boss who is the head of special education. I very calmly explained the whole situation in about 5 minutes to him including that I felt that the autism class was a failing program. I told him that I was not willing to wait any longer for his placement even though I had gone and found a spot for him myself and that I would be keeping Dallin home until he could start because it was doing more harm than good.

Within an hour the non human lady called me back and told me Dallin could start the following Monday! The resource ladies at Dallin's school were very exited to have him and I met with them to discuss his needs. There are wonderful people. They found and aid for him and I met her. I had some concerns but agreed to go with it. They had asked me if they could put Dallin in afternoon Kinder because they thought that the teacher would be really good with Dallin and I agreed to that too.

So the next Monday off we went and I attended the whole first day with Dallin. There was such an instant improvement! Just being around well behaved typical children, Dallin seemed to want to fit in. I was amazed. The teacher seemed so wonderful and there was 3 hours of actual real learning going on in a highly structured classroom environment.

I agreed to go to Dallin's school for the whole day each Monday as a parent volunteer. I was very eager to do this because it is the only way I can really know if he has the help he needs and is being treated right. So the next Monday I went in again and saw that Dallin was sticking out a little, but overall doing incredible. His aid on the other hand was hovering over him so much that he was not allowed to fit in. The next day after I dropped Dallin off I went in to talk to the resource ladies. They knew what was going on and were already on it. A lady that has been volunteering in the resource office for 15 years had volunteered to be a new aid and was in the application process to make it official.

I guess Dallin's teacher was really upset with the aid and how it was going too. She likes Dallin and is so good with him. She said if he had started with all the kids at the beginning of the year that he would have probably really fit in as they were all learning what her expectations were. She said the aid was making it harder for him to learn.

So this is the third week for Dallin at regular ed and he loves it. When the kids get to school they meet in the lunch room and are allowed to eat before school starts. The first week Dallin refused to get a hot lunch because he was just not used to eating before school starts. He was used to having lunch in the middle of the school day and it just didn't seem to work for him. He would get all choked up every time I tried to get him to have lunch with the other kids. Finally, the second week I really pushed it and got the tray of food for him even though he cried a little and would not eat it. The next day he saw that it was nacho day and that just brought him right out of his funk. He actually took the tray from me and got the food himself. He never had a problem after that. So now in the third week and I have started to fade myself back to let him function on his own. Now the other boys can't wait to come and sit by him and eat together. It is so fun to see him being accepted by his peers. He is just one of the boys now!

This weekend at the school party I ran into the resource ladies and we talked with them a lot about how well Dallin is doing. Lisa said she has read Dallin's file and understands his history, but she is not seeing the same kid that is in the file. She said judging only what she sees in the Dallin that she knows, she does not see autism!!! She said it seems more like ADD. Hearing that is like music to my ears. He really has come so far in the last year and a half it is a miracle. His home therapists also marvel at his progress because they knew him from when we moved here and have seen how far he has come. As his mother I think back even farther to my little toe walker always running in circles and banging his head on things repetitively.

I remember when he was first in early intervention in Oregon when Dallin was 2. I would take him to a one hour program once a week that was like a mini preschool. It was hard for me because Dallin was the lowest functioning one even with other autistic children. He could not even sit in a five minute circle time or ask for more snack or anything. There was no language expressive or receptive. Now I see my big boy going to regular ed and I will not at all be surprised if he does not need and aid next year. MIRACLES!!! It was a big leap of faith to leave our whole life and move here, but I believe that the Lord has poured out blessings in EVERY way for doing it. My dream has come true! With intense early intervention there is a small percentage of children that lose their diagnosis. I have never let myself be too hopeful and really tried not to care about that, but I see that this reality could be coming and it makes me weep. My little hero is so amazing.

I have learned so much about autism in the last 3 years and I know what has worked for our situation. I believe that one of my callings in life in the future will be to help young families who are trying to understand just what they are dealing with and what they can do. All children are different and even with interventions, some may still never learn to talk, but there are so many high functioning kids out there with huge potential. I want to get involved in autism politically and make sure that the help that these children need is available and covered by insurance and the state. A family should not have to move to get help like we did. This has to change. A good early start like Dallin has had will make all the difference for the rest of their life. As parents I know that we will always need to be very involved in Dallin's schooling and social development, but I know that he has as much potential for success as anyone thanks to the help that he has received.

So we plan to stick it out for another year or so here in Cali and make sure that Dallin continues to thrive and then return to the place we will always call home:)

I have thought a lot about my confirmation to put Dallin in the autism classroom for kinder and have a couple of thoughts that seem to reassure me. I think that because I was so unsure of where to put him with a six month mental struggle to get it right, I now know for sure that he is in the very best place and perhaps I would have continued to question that if I hadn't gone that route first. Second, I have become much stronger in my advocating for my child through working with the school district. All of my children will have a mother who will stand up for them whenever any issue arrives with the schools and getting my child what they need. I am grateful for this experience and I know more than every how much my Heavenly Father knows me personally and what I need to experience to learn what I need to learn and have peace.